White House Shoots Down Death Star Petition

Paul Lilly

The White House responds to a petition to begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.

No matter what your stance is on politics, whether you lean left, right, or find yourself all twisted up in every which direction like a contortionist, you have to give the White House props for what might be the best response to a petition , ever. It all started when a petition for the U.S. government to secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016, collected tens of thousands of signatures. What did the White House have to say?

Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget, titled the official response, "This Isn't the Petition Response You Were Looking For." And for those who actually hoped the U.S. government would actually entertain the idea, it probably wasn't, but for everyone else, the response was so much better. Here's how it began:

"The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

  • The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000.
  • We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
  • The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
  • Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

However, look carefully ( here's how ) and you'll notice something already floating in the sky -- that's no Moon, it's a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations."

The epic response continues on for several more paragraphs and talks about floating robot assistants , an advanced (marshmallow) canon , supporting research on building Luke's arm , and much more.

"We are living in the future!," Shawcross adds. "Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering, or math-related field."

Well played, White House.

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