funny

Linus Torvalds Tosses F-Bombs, Middle Fingers and General Disdain at Nvidia

Brad Chacos — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 17:12:50 +0000

Between the new GTX 600 series GPUs and its top-notch Tegra 3 mobile chips, Nvidia's been getting a lot of love from the press and consumers alike in recent months. One guy ain't so happy with the company, though: Linus Torvalds. His lack of love revolves around Nvidia's continued reluctance to show the love to the Linux operating system -- and Linus isn't afraid to express his displeasure, either with words or obscene gestures.

"Nvidia has been the single worst company we've dealt with," Linus says in the brief clip below, which is taken from a much longer talk at the Aalto Center for Entrepreneurship (ACE) in Otaniemi, Finland. (Hit this link to see the whole, interesting thing.) The tirade is kicked off by a weary user who had to jump through hoops to try and enable her laptop's Nvidia Optimus technology while running the open-source operating system.

Linus talks about the hypocrisy of Nvidia's lackluster Linux support in the light of the company's heavy forays into Android before staring directly into the camera and extending his middle finger.

"Nvidia… Fuck you!" he says, the words slowly and pointedly rolling off his tongue, just in case the gesture alone didn't get the point across.

You gotta give it to Linus; he calls 'em like he sees 'em, and winning the prestigious Millennium Technology Prize hasn't curbed his opinionated tongue.

Via The Verge

Diablo III Being Sold As "Big Pineapple 3" In China To Bypass Sales Ban

Brad Chacos — Tue, 29 May 2012 18:12:44 +0000

Getting your hands on a hot new PC game isn't as simple in China as it is in the United States. The Chinese Ministry of Culture needs to clear a title before it becomes available in stores, a process that's been known to take months, or even years. As a result, impatient Chinese gamers looking to engage in demonic hack n' slashing have resorted to pineapples, phonics and search trickery to get their hands on the much-coveted game.

Since Diablo III has yet to be approved, PC World and Kotaku are reporting that searches for the translated Diablo III name turns up fruitless on the eBay-like Taobao. Enterprising online retailers, however, are selling the game under the name "Big Pineapple 3" -- because "Big Pineapple" in Chinese is "dà bōluó". See what they did there? The listings for the game even include pics of a pineapple, in case verbal punnery isn't your strong point.

Of course, since this is being fairly widely reported, the creative backdoor probably won't stay propped open for long. But the people who did manage to snag a copy are in for some good news; yesterday, Blizzard outlined some massive Diablo III patches coming down the pipeline. PC Gamer has a great summary of the scheduled changes.

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HP Introduces "Sleekbooks:" Ultrabooks That Aren't Ultrabooks

Brad Chacos — Wed, 09 May 2012 17:26:41 +0000

In between ringing the warning bells about cyberspace boogeymen and rolling out refreshes to the Pavilion lineup, HP also took the time to answer a question we all knew was coming someday: when is an Ultrabook not an Ultrabook? The answer: when it's a so-called thin-and-light Sleekbook. Two new HP Envy notebooks carry the new name, which skirt the restrictions associated with the Intel-owned Ultrabook brand.

A key distinction for Ultrabooks, of course, is that they have to be powered by Intel's Core processors. One of the two Envy Sleekbooks -- a 14-inch, $700 laptop -- in fact runs on Ivy Bridge, but the second model -- a 15.6-inch, $600 laptop -- sports an AMD APU, something that could never occur in an Ultrabook proper.

The two Envy Sleekbooks also point out the price-based competitiveness of AMD's processors. The APU-powered Envy sports a bigger screen and "discrete-class graphics" while costing $100 less than the smaller Intel-powered Envy, which HP offers with "optional discrete graphics" that will only add to the price tag.

The Intel model should be available today, while the AMD variant won't be shipping until around June 20th. Why could that be? *Cough* Trinity *Cough* A couple of actual Ultrabooks were announced, too.

So whaddaya think: if HP and other manufacturers can whip together thin and long-lasting Ultrabook-like notebooks running on AMD processors, then simply call the doppelgangers by a slightly different name, does "Ultrabook" (with its very loose spec guidelines) even carry much value as a brand? The AMD Sleekbook is virtually identical to an AMD Ultrabook, after all, aside from the CPU at its heart.

Anonymous Supporters Duped Into Downloading Zeus Trojan

Brad Chacos — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 18:24:09 +0000

What better way to start the work week than with a delicious slice of irony pie? The hacktivist group known as Anonymous spent the past year harassing websites and web users alike with a series of high profile attacks. Authorities responded by arresting Anons around the world, but new information shows that police weren't the only ones spanking Anonymous. Symantec says that an enterprising bot herder modified a link to one of Anon's voluntary DDoS tools to point to a file infected with the Zeus Trojan instead.

The link switcher altered the URL in a widespread Anon PasteBin guide on January 20th -- the day of Anonymous' self-proclaimed "biggest attack ever," in which they took down a host of government and industry websites in response to Megaupload's shuttering. The guide originally pointed to the Slowloris DoS tool. The modified guide pointed to the Zeus Trojan. Symantec reports the PasteBin guide with the malicious link was viewed over 26,000 times and tweeted by the YourAnonNews account and 400 others.

After being installed, the Zeus app downloads the Slowloris tool and actually participates in Anon's DDoS attacks in order to avoid being detected. Of course, while Slowloris is busy blasting websites, the Zeus app is busy sending cookies and financial login information to its master server.

"Not only will supporters be breaking the law by participating in DoS attacks on Anonymous hacktivism targets, but may also be at risk of having their online banking and email credentials stolen," Symantec says in conclusion. Anon supporters must be damning that silly so-called Golden Rule right about now.

Proview Seeks iPad Export Ban In China, Could Choke Off Worldwide Supply

Brad Chacos — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 18:06:48 +0000

Apple's been harassing Samsung (and others) around the globe, using legislation and intellectual property nuances to suffocate competitive sales and yank Galaxy Tabs off store shelves. Now it's Apple's turn. After a Chinese court ruled that Apple has no right to use the "iPad" name in mainland China because a company called Proview Technology (Shenzhen) holds the trademark, Proview announced they were suing Apple for $1.6 billion in damages. Now, Proview wants a complete iPad import/export ban -- and since all iPads are manufactured in China, an export ban could choke off worldwide supply for the mega-popular tablet.

Yesterday, the Verge reported that government officials began confiscating iPads from stores in Shijiazhuang, the capital of the Heibei province. Today, Proview told the Associated Press that it is seeking similar actions in 30 additional cities, as well as the aforementioned ban on exports and imports.

"We are now working on a request to China Customs to ban and seize all the import and export of the iPad products that have violated the trademark," said Xie Xianghui, a lawyer for the company.

Funnily enough, the MPAA/RIAA's plight against overseas pirates is helping Proview try to strangle to iPad sales. The laws that allow Proview to ask for the iPad ban were originally enacted to stop Chinese counterfeiters from shipping trademark-infringing items to other countries. Of course, since Apple is sitting on $97.6 billion in cold, hard cash, we're guessing the company would just peel off a few bills for Proview before it let the supply of iPads grind to a halt.

Still, we have to ask: now that you've had a taste, does your litigious medicine taste bitter, Apple?

(For more information about the complicated trademark battle between Apple and Proview, read our coverage of the Chinese judge's ruling back in December.)

Image credit: myessentia.com

Google TV Unveils Big Surprise Announcement

Brad Chacos — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 18:48:39 +0000

It began with a simple posting on Google TV's Facebook page late Saturday night: "Get ready for Monday, we have some big announcements!" Within minutes, the tech blogosphere was alight with speculation. Could it be a Sonos-killing streaming media device? Maybe a TV version of Google Nexus? Some other type of new hardware? A software update? Nope. The announcement has been made, and the news was something nobody saw coming.

…an update to the YouTube app for Google TV. No, really. That's it.

And that's why you shouldn't get pumped for vague PR announcements. In any case, Google claims the updated YouTube app is faster and smoother than ever before, and a new Discovery feature allows you to browse YouTube videos by category. Changes to the channel interface make subscribing and finding videos related to the ones you watch easier, too.

All in all, it seems like a solid -- if unspectacular -- update to the YouTube app. But someone at Google should tone down the hype machine (especially on news-light weekends).

Need Natural GPU Performance Enhancement? Try AMD's Verdetrol

Brad Chacos — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 19:17:15 +0000

Have you ever taken a little pill to enhance your performance? Hey, not like that! Get your mind out of the gutter! We're talking about graphics card performance. AMD recently shipped a prescription bottle full of blue pills and hilarious dosing directions to reviewers in anticipation of the launch of a 1GHz video card -- presumably the Radeon HD 7700, which has had 1GHz clock speed rumors swirling around it for a while now. Are you ready for some "natural performance enhancement" for your PC?

There's another hint that the campaign is leading up to the release of the Radeon HD 7700; the code name for the 7700 is "Cape Verde," and the name of the fake performance boosting pills is "Verdetrol." Legit Reviews was sent a bottle and they report that the gag was very well done, with a dosage size of 1GHz, 28 doses in the bottle (for the 28nm manufacturing process -- get it?) and a prescription number of 1337-2012 for the Leet speakers in the house. For best results, take "1 tablet by fan intake four times daily."

AMD even went so far as to set up a Verdetrol website. The picture above is courtesy of LegitReviews; to see lots more -- including images of the hilarious warning labels -- head on over to the Verdetrol thread in the Legit Reviews forums.

"Man or woman, young or old, Verdetrol is the solution for anyone looking to get an edge when the heat is on!"

Microsoft Calls Out Google's Privacy Changes In Newspaper Ads

Brad Chacos — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 18:53:17 +0000

Microsoft's never been one to shy away from a fight with Google; when Microsoft recently signed LG to an Android licensing deal, several Redmond bigwigs taunted Google with a series of mocking Tweets. Now, Microsoft's sending yet another attack dog into the fight: ads running in several major U.S. newspapers that attempts to stir up feelings of resentment over Google's recent privacy policy changes.

You can see a full image of the ad here on Microsoft's TechNet website, but here's a choice excerpt:

Google is in the process of making some unpopular changes to some of their most popular products. Those changes, cloaked in language like "transparency," "simplicity" and "consistency" are really about one thing: making it easier for Google to connect the dots between everything you search, send, say or stream while using one of their services.

But, the way they're doing it is making it harder for you to maintain control of your personal information. Why are they so interested in doing this that they would risk that kind of backlash? One logical reason: EVERY DATA POINT THEY COLLECT AND CONNECT TO YOU INCREASES HOW VALUABLE YOU ARE TO AN ADVERTISER.

It goes on, but we think you get the gist. Microsoft's solution to the Google privacy problem is one you probably expected: why not try switching to Bing, Hotmail, IE or Microsoft Office 365?

How do Google's privacy changes sit with you? Will you jump ship at Microsoft's suggestion, or do you consider the hubbub much ado about nothing?

Image credit: AndroidShine.com

iPhone-Loving Robbers Leave Android Phones Unpilfered

Brad Chacos — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 19:23:25 +0000

Want to avoid getting mugged? Buy an Android phone – or even better yet, a Blackberry. No, they don’t have any crazy criminal-prevention apps or burglar whistles built in; thieves just don’t want them. Or at least one pair of thieves in Manhattan don’t want them. Apparently, two robbers have been accosting Columbia University students for their iPhones. No other phone will do! The crooks even let one victim keep a perfectly good Droid, police say.

The robbers still snatched the poor Droid owner’s cash, the local NBC station reports, but at least he could call the cops on his black sheep phone afterwards. A second victim was thrown against a fence and searched after she said she didn’t have an Apple handset, while a third separate victim had actually had an iPhone and was left unharmed after turning it over.

The NBC team asked Columbia students what they thought of the snobbery robberies. “It's insulting they don't want my BlackBerry,” one student responded, while another said that frankly, she didn’t like her BlackBerry either and was pocketing her pennies to buy an iPhone herself.

Image credit: theiloop.com

IP Addresses From Sony, Fox And Universal Found Torrenting Music, Movies And More

Brad Chacos — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 19:27:08 +0000

This just in from the “Isn’t it ironic?” department: IP addresses from some of the top content creation companies, including Fox, Sony and Universal, have been caught red-handed downloading torrents of movies, music and TV shows. That’s the claim from TorrentFreak, at least, who sifted through data from YouHaveDownloaded, a Russian site that logs – and exposes! – IP addresses downloading many of the public torrents you can find out there. TorrentFreak did some digging and managed to match several infringing IP addresses to IP addresses registered to the aforementioned companies.

A Sony IP address from Culver City, CA and an NBC Universal IP address from Fort Lauderdale, FL went on especially naughty sprees, downloading several different torrents apiece, including a Halloween trance album, a Black Keys track, the complete first season of “The Game of Thrones,” the “Cowboys and Aliens” movie and more. An IP address registered to Fox was also found downloading “Super 8.”

An IP address from Google’s NY office also downloaded a ton of stuff, although interestingly enough, TorrentFreak notes that they couldn’t find any torrents being downloaded from BitTorrent Inc’s SF headquarters. Then again, YouHaveDownloaded only claims to track around a fifth of all available public torrents. (By the way, YouHave Downloaded’s owners say they’re exposing the IP addresses of anyone who downloads from the torrents they’re tracking in order to dispel the notion that you should expect privacy on the ‘Net.)

TorrentFreak also notes that an IP address from a Dutch music royalty collecting agency called Buma/Stemra was found downloading Battlefield 3 and episodes of “Entourage,” which prompted the company to claim that its address was spoofed. TorrentFreak invites the US companies mentioned above to do the same thing. “After all, if it’s so easy to spoof an IP-address, then accused file-sharers can use this same defense against copyright holders.”

Thoughts?

Image credits: torrentfreak.com

Microsoft Contest Offers Free Windows Phones To Talkative Android Malware Victims

Brad Chacos — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 18:01:52 +0000

Everywhere you turn these days, it seems as though the headlines are filled with horror stories of Android phones riddled with malware. Even apps you snag on Android Market can infect your phone (although those are rare and often quickly removed). Microsoft has been paying attention to the news and decided to kick Google where it hurts with a new social media campaign. Have you been bitten by some Android malware and want to switch to (possibly) greener pastures? If you share your sob story on Twitter, Microsoft might just send you a shiny new Windows Phone as a technological band-aid.

Microsoft “PC Evangelist” Ben Rudolph kicked off the …unorthodox marketing campaign with the tweet you see above. Plenty of people are sharing their #droidrage stories, though the hashtag is also being flooded by sarcastic/pissed off Android lovers and folks who think the marketing campaign is a low blow by Microsoft. What do you think: is #droidrage underhand or brilliant? (Personally, I think it’s funny.)

And hey, if you want to try and get one of those five Windows Phones that are being given away, Rudolph just tweeted that he’s still taking sob story submissions for a few more hours.

Do Your Folks A Favor On "Update Your Parents' Browser Day"

Brad Chacos — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 18:39:40 +0000

If you’re a Maximum PC reader, there’s a good chance that you’re the computer geek that relatives call when they get infected with a nasty piece of malware. With it being the day after Thanksgiving, there’s also an above-average chance that you might be over at your folks’ house at some point today. It’s time to strike and make things easier for your future self! Leave Black Friday to others and hop on the new post-Turkey Day bandwagon: Update Your Parents’ Browser Day. You’ll be glad you did.

The Atlantic’s Alexis Madrigal dreamed up the new nerd holiday a few days ago in a post that was heavily tongue-in-cheek. But lying in the center of all that sarcasm was a glistening gold nugget of a great idea, and other big names quickly took up the call to arms. Google’s search guru Matt Cutts tweeted a reminder in the midst of feasting yesterday, and Microsoft’s IE blog created a list of the top ten times to update your parents’ browser (Number one being: “When they’re distracted by grilling you about when you’re going to get a real job, when you’re going to settle down, and when you’re going to give them grandchildren. “) We’re just going to say you should do it to save yourself some future headaches.

Madrigal offered up some tips in his original post: “Don't switch brands on them. No putting Chrome instead of Firefox or Internet Explorer. Keep it simple.” Sounds good to us. So what are you waiting for? Get to updating and put your blissfully unaware parents out of their IE6 misery!

Your Password Still Sucks: SplashData Unveils The 25 Worst Passwords Of 2011

Brad Chacos — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 18:24:02 +0000

In case you missed it the first time around, research has already proved that your password probably sucks. That research, by Microsoft MVP Troy Hunt, was based on a sampling of roughly 37,000 leaked Sony Pictures passwords leaked by LulzSec earlier this year. 37,000 passwords is chump change to Splashdata, the makers of a password management app, who sifted through millions of passwords that were dumped online during the hacktastic year that was 2011 and came up a list of the 25 passwords used most often by hacking victims. Is yours on the list?

Most of them are the crappy, obvious passwords you’d expect to find, including several along the lines as the one that earned infamy as President Skroob’s luggage combination in Spaceballs. And hey, your lame attempts at L337 speak aren’t fooling anybody, n00bcakes; note that “passw0rd” is the 18th most common, well, password. Also worth noting: the complete lack of uppercase characters in the top 25.

password
123456
12345678
qwerty
abc123
monkey
1234567
letmein
trustno1
dragon
baseball
111111
iloveyou
master
sunshine
ashley
bailey
passw0rd
shadow
123123
654321
superman
qazwsx
michael
football

Thanks to ABC News for pointing this out!

Protestors Occupy Bank Of America's Google+ Page

Brad Chacos — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 18:43:06 +0000

Occupy Wall Street’s protestors have moved on from Oakland and NYC parks; they’ve packed up their beef and taken it to the ‘Net, too. Just one day after Google+ launched its new “Page” functionality for businesses, the Bank of America found its virtual territory occupied by a false profile designed to make them look very, very bad to anybody who happened upon the Page.

The creator of the fake page apparently tricked Google into giving him control of the BoA page, but Google has since given yanked it back and transferred ownership to the Real Deal. As such, the satiric text and pictures have since been scrubbed from the social media service. You can’t scrub anything off the Web completely, though: Sophos’ Naked Security blog conveniently took a snapshot of the page before it was changed, which we’ve posted above. It wasn’t just a static page, either; the creator was actively posting satirical content and links into its streams, such as “Big company party in foreclosed house #2340087 tonight!”

In case you were wondering, the BoA Google+ page now sports one of those nifty little “Verified” checkmarks. Sophos’ Chester Wisniewski notes that “Strangely not all business pages have this verified mark, including BoA's competitor Citibank USA.” Nefariousness or laziness?

PETA: Battefield 3 Turns German Boys Into Sadistic Rat Murderers

Brad Chacos — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 18:18:16 +0000

Battlefield 3 isn’t The Sims; no matter how you decide on approaching the game, a ton of virtual people are going to die gory virtual deaths. That doesn’t faze the German arm of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, though. No, what really grinds PETA’s gears is a scene in the game in which a rat is stabbed and then tossed into a trashcan, and the organization has written a press release to let the world know of its outrage. OUTRAGE!

The original press release is in German, but a little Google Translation magic lets you get the garbled gist of the announcement.

(BF3) gives players the option to kill a rat with a combat knife in the back in order to then lift it by its tail, then toss it away. Killing virtual animals can have a brutalizing effect on the young male target audience. There have been repeated cases of animal cruelty in Germany, where young people kill animals. Inspiration behind these acts often came from movies and computer games.

So watch out, Battlefield gamers – you might be being programmed to be the animal version of Dexter. PETA doesn’t mention whether or not they think killing hundreds of human enemies might have an even more significant effect on apparently fragile psyche of young German boys, but don’t worry, German moms! Links between video games and violence have been thoroughly debunked by all kinds of super-intelligent, non-biased folks time and time again. Though, come to think of it, we can’t think of a report that studied if virtual rat stabbings led to increased actual rat stabbings…