Here at MPC, we sort of despise videogame pirates. Like, with a passion. And yet, even working with that and our penchant for dreaming up nightmarish death traps for all who cross us, we doubt we could have devised something this cruel. This horrific. This absolutely wonderful. It begins the very second you boot up a pirated copy of Serious Sam 3: BFE. Your crimes, you see, have implicitly forged some sort of eternal death pact with an absurdly speedy, even more absurdly giant pink scorpion monster. He is also immortal. No matter where you go, he will follow. On the upside, you'll never be lonely. On the downside, just kidding there is no upside. Have a gander at the video after the break and join us in a big, long laugh at pirates' expense.