Have things seemed... off lately? Well, friends, that's because you're in the Twilight Zone. Don't believe us? Well, how else do you explain the fact that Valve's embodiment of the phrase “large-and-in-charge” is whistling this tune:

"It's a real game changer for us," Valve CEO Gabe Newell said of Sandy Bridge and its integrated graphics core. "This allows for a console like experience on the PC."

He's referring, of course, to the fact that Sandy Bridge could lead to a consistent set of specs for all PCs. In other words, no more futzing around with different graphics configurations. Granted, Sandy Bridge nearly took home gold when we ran it through our obstacle course, but it came up sadly short in the graphics department.

Meanwhile, Newell noted that Portal 2 was actually built from the ground up with a Sandy Bridge processor in mind. Sure, it's not the most graphically intense game ever, but – if you're a fan of fishing around in the nitty gritty guts of your PC – it might be a disturbing sign of things to come.

From the folder titled “Wait, what?” comes word that Valve’s initial concept for Portal 2 was a bit avant garde – even for Valve, the studio that brought us such hits as “MIT Scientist Fights Aliens,” “Cartoon Mercenaries Kill Each Other for Hats,” and “MIT Scientist Fights Aliens Again.” See, Portal 2 was going to give the portal gun the weighted companion cube treatment. That’s right: no more portals.

“One of the ideas was: what if the Portal franchise is, instead of always being about Portals – which’d be tough because it’s called Portal – but what if it was always about introducing a new puzzle element that you’re going through? it’s about Aperture Science, and now you’re going through this new testing track with this new element,” writer Erik Wolpaw told PC Gamer.

You can probably already see, however, where this is going. Wolpaw continued:

“We pretty quickly found that, even though we had a couple of pretty interesting mechanics, that people would always, to a person, every play tester we had would say, ‘Yeah this is alright, but where’s my portal gun?’”

As a result, gameplay mechanics like puddles of goo paint with different, gameplay altering properties switched from being central mechanics to a secondary ones, and thus, the Portal 2 we all know and love was born.

So hooray for that. Sure, we love a good brain teaser and all – so we can understand where Valve was coming from -- but it doesn’t take too much gray matter to figure out that maybe removing the feature that made your game so popular in the first place isn’t the best idea -- especially when you're dealing with a horde of easily outraged gamers.

After Chell, GlaDOS, and the gang warped out of 2010, Valve’s release schedule would have actually been improved if the PC powerhouse announced Tumbleweeds and Cricket Chirps: The Game. At least it would have been something, as opposed for the heaping helping of nothing we’d resigned ourselves to. But as it turns out, the long, cold, Valve-less winter won’t be sold long, cold, and Valve-less after all. See, out of nowhere, Valve has released a game. It’s called Alien Swarm, and you might already know it from back when it was called, er, Alien Swarm.

“Two years ago Valve hired the talented team behind the popular top down co-op mod Alien Swarm. Since then they have been busy working on the Left 4 Dead Series, and now Portal 2. However, we never forgot about Alien Swarm and the team has spent a lot of time bringing the game to Source in between their contributions to the other Valve projects,” Valve said of the extraterrestrial that unexpectedly burst out of its chest.

The best part? It’s already out. Like, now. And it’s completely free, which makes it a gift, which is awkward, because we didn’t get Valve anything. Still though, grab it if you haven’t already. We haven’t spent an extensive amount of time with it, so we can’t recommend it one way or the other. But really, what do you have to lose?

So yeah, one day after getting your hopes up with rumors of Half-Life 3 and Source Engine 2, we’re back to rain on your parade and kick your puppy. First up, Portal 2’s pointed its titular gun at the far reaches of 2011.

“Aperture Science, doing business as Aperture Laboratories LLC, in partnership with Valve today announced the successful completion of an ethics-review-panel-supervised release date restructuring process. Portal 2, the sequel to the ground-breaking title that earned over 30 Game of the Year awards despite missing its original ship date, is now targeted for a 2011 release,” read an email from Valve.

But who cares? Half-Life 3, right? Wrong. Completely wrong, as it turns out.

“To ask questions about how close we all came to dying, or to ask futile questions about the previously announced E3 ***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD'S SAKE*** surprise or, less futilely, to schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's delegate to the EU's Valve Time Studies Group, Doug Lombardi,” the email concluded.

So there you have it. E3 is Portal 2’s party. Maybe Half-Life will get a chance to hog the spotlight next century year. Perhaps just in time for the Orange Box 2, if those wishes we've been wasting for the past couple years when blowing out our birthday candles finally come true. We can dream, can’t we?