Posted 11/17/09 at 08:30:00 AM by Will Smith

Does the world really need a Left 4 Dead sequel already?

We love killing zombies. When Left  4 Dead came out, we feared that eventually we’d tire of returning the walking dead back to the hell from which they spawned, but it turns out we didn’t. However, we did quickly tire of the lame “optimal” ways that hardcore gamers developed to beat Left 4 Dead campaigns in the most efficient—yet boring—manner possible.

Enter Left 4 Dead 2. The biggest change to the established formula is the redesigned finales and crescendos—those mid-level events that attract unending hordes of zombies. Instead of simply finding a good closet and holing up for 15 minutes, popping out only to kill the occasional tank, the crescendos now require you to keep moving—either to reach a goal or collect and deliver items. The zombie closet is no more, and we don’t miss it at all.

Read on for the full review!

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Posted 11/04/09 at 12:35:07 AM by Nathan Grayson

Team Fortress 2 is pretty great, but you know what would make it even better? Did you say “one or more zombies”? Yeah, us too. But instead, you’re getting a hat.

“For the first time in history, two separate Valve universes collide. That's right: it's a Left 4 Dead/Team Fortress crossover! This is not fan fiction! This is not a dream sequence! The characters from Team Fortress 2 will team-up with Bill's hat from Left 4 Dead 1!” reads a post on the TF2 Blog.

There’s a catch, though: Bill’s ridiculously regal Head Enhancement Item is only available to those who have preordered Left 4 Dead 2.
 
Honestly, though, to make such a strong fashion statement – nay, a fashion exclamation – we would’ve shelled out the full fifty smackeroos even if Left 4 Dead 2 weren’t involved at all.

Ok, not really, but you get the idea.  

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Posted 10/27/09 at 11:51:31 PM by Nathan Grayson

It’s Tuesday! Woohoo! Oh, you’re wondering why we’re donning our party hats on this most mundane of days? Simple – the Left 4 Dead 2 demo’s available to Steam pre-orderers today! We’re just gonna queue up our download and… well, that’s odd. We’re sure the demo’s around here somewhere. Just, uh, hold on a sec. No, no – that’s Killing Floor. Hey, Valve, what’s the deal?

“The Left 4 Dead 2 Xbox 360 Demo is now available for those who pre-ordered and obtained early access to the demo," read a release from the company tonight. "The PC Demo is currently targeted for release on Wednesday, October 28."

Well, what are we going to do with all these party supplies now? Quick! Theme change! Now we’re celebrating, er, uh, Boss Tweed’s arrest on October 27, 1871. There’s something everyone can drink to. 

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Posted 10/23/09 at 04:15:31 AM by Nathan Grayson

Sorry, Gabe Newell and co. You gave it your all, we’re sure, but in the end, Left 4 Dead 2’s true form proved too gore-splattered for Australians’ delicate palettes. Or at least, that’s how the Australian government sees it. Said a note from Australia’s Review Board:

“In the Review Board’s opinion, Left 4 Dead 2 could not be accommodated within the MA 15+ classification. The computer game contains a level of violence which is high in impact, prolonged, repeated frequently and realistic within the context of the game.”

“In addition, it was the Review Board’s opinion that there was insufficient delineation between the depiction of general zombie figures and the human figures, as opposed to the clearly fictional ‘infected’ characters. This was a major consideration of the Review Board in determining the impact of this game on minors.”

It’s true! We totally have friends who – if you squint really hard – are the spitting images of Boomers and Tanks. Oh, there’s also that one guy with the crazy-long tongue. But we don’t really talk to him. Wait. You say the Review Board was talking about "general zombie figures"? And here we thought our colossal, bile-spewing buddy had finally found a country that would accept him with open arms. 

Ahem. Anyway, Australia’s still on track to receive a heavily censored version of Left 4 Dead 2, which is better than nothing, we suppose. Oh well. Aussie gamers, if our site hasn’t already been censored, better luck nex—[content blocked because we’re pretty sure it had a knife].

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Posted 10/10/09 at 02:26:53 AM by Nathan Grayson

Is some Left 4 Dead 2 better than none at all? We’re thinking “yes,” but that probably won’t stop Australian gamers from wishing they could tear whoever censored Left 4 Dead 2 limb-from-limb.

See, while decapitation and dismemberment are apparently physically impossible over in Australia, neutering isn’t – as evidenced by Left 4 Dead 2’s sterilized state.

“The board notes that the game no longer contains depictions of decapitation, dismemberment, wound detail or piles of dead bodies lying about the environment,” said a note by Australia’s Classification Board. “No wound detail is shown and the implicitly dead bodies and blood splatter disappear as they touch the ground.”
 
Valve still hopes to eventually release an unedited version of the game as DLC in good ol’ Oz. That is, if it can find a way to sneak past the big, bag Classification Board.

For now, though, all those kangaroos, koalas, and Wizards Of  are going to miss out on the Violence Orgy. But don't worry about it too much, Aussie readers; the violence was only there to hide the real meat of Left 4 Dead 2: the racism. Good thing the Classification Board missed that. It was so blatantly obvious to everyone else, too. Close shave, that.  

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Posted 10/08/09 at 02:53:46 AM by Nathan Grayson

Zombies are nature’s griefers, it would seem. Or at least, they are if Left 4 Dead 2’s new “Scavenge” multiplayer mode is to be believed. See, here, the shambling jerks aren’t even looking to get their fill of juicy, succulent brains anymore. Nope. Instead, they’re actively seeking to knock out survivors’ power generators for -- what we can only assume to be -- fun. After all, if those pesky zombies were hurting for a heaping helping of brains, why wouldn’t they just chase down the survivors like always?

So here’s how it works: players are divided into the usual teams of survivors and special infected, just like in versus mode. Levels are littered with a grand total of 16 gas canisters, which survivors must collect in order to power a generator. The mode is played as a series of two minute rounds, though more time is added to the clock each time survivors manage to haul a can to their generator.

The infected team, of course, is out to make life difficult for the survivors by playing keep-away with the cans. Apparently, Spitters and Jockeys really shine here, as they can set cans on fire and “steer” survivors away from their objectives, respectively.

Left 4 Dead 2 will launch with six Scavenge maps – one for each campaign – on November 17. There's a video of the new mode in action here. 

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Posted 10/03/09 at 12:33:20 AM by Nathan Grayson

We usually use this space to write about videogames. We’re hardly advice columnists. But believe us when we – as your friends – advise you to quit dilly-dallying and just preorder Left 4 Dead 2 already. Valve’s sweetened the pot time and time again, and we’ll be damned if it isn’t starting to smell mighty fine.

Early bird gets the worm, so they say, but Valve’s taking it a few steps further. Here, said tech-savvy bird will nab an exclusive melee weapon (the American baseball bat), early access to the Left 4 Dead 2 demo, and 10% off the game.

If more purchases came with free baseball bats, this world would be a much more zombie-free place. Granted, our planet’s tree population might also suffer a bit, but as we all know, if the zombies win, deforestation won't be far off.

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Posted 09/23/09 at 02:59:54 AM by Nathan Grayson

If you’ve played Left 4 Dead to death, Valve’s just made a pair of announcements that are sure to brighten your day.

First up, Left 4 Dead’s “Crash Course” DLC will finally walk among the living on September 29. It’s free, of course, and includes a new campaign, new survival maps, and a few other tweaks and balances.

Then, just in time to catch you on the rebound after you’ve kicked Crash Course to the curb, Valve’s dropping a Left 4 Dead 2 demo on October 27. Preorderers will apparently gain early access to the demo, though, and since you’re probably already going to buy the game anyway, you might as well.

As for what the demo actually contains, it’s anyone’s guess at this point. We’ll let you know as soon as Valve finally spills its guts. Our highly advanced torture techniques – known as “extreme nagging” in some circles -- break everyone eventually.

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