The story of Max Payne is a grim one indeed. No, no, not the actual character (although we're sure any man whose face is stuck in that kind of perma-grimace can't be all sunshine and butterflies) -- instead, we're talking about the ever-growing yarn trailing behind Max Payne 3's development cycle. Originally scheduled to launch late in 2009, the game's since endured delay after delay, and all the while gamers have scarcely seen hide nor hair of its development progress.

Most damning of all, however, is the fact that Take-Two's most recent release schedule – which even listed games scheduled for calendar year 2012 – didn't contain Max Payne 3 in any form. Developer Rockstar Games, however, quickly claimed that rumors of Max Payne's death have been greatly exaggerated.

"We're still working hard on Max, and we'll have more news in the coming months," a company rep told Kotaku.

Last time we saw Max Payne 3, it was set to discard the franchise's old noir trappings in favor of a thick coat of grit. Picking up 12 years after Max Payne 2 left off, the game touted a “more world-weary and cynical” version of Max working private security for a wealthy family in Brazil. More often than not, however, publicity blackouts like the one Max Payne 3's been under since shortly after it was announced are signs of a major overhaul, so who knows what kind of story it's aiming to tell at this point?

Here's hoping Rockstar sees fit to tell us sooner rather than later. We're all for gratuitous slow-mo, but this is getting a little ridiculous. 

You won't be hearing any “humbugs” from Wolfire Games and the gang behind the Humble Indie Bundle this year. Even after pirates pillaged the first Humble Indie Bundle to hell and back, a second's set sail to absolutely massive success. Already outpacing the first, Bundle numero dos made over $500,000 in a single day.

For those in need of a refresher, here's how it works: you buy a gaggle of games – specifically Braid, Cortex Command, Machinarium, Osmos, and Revenge of the Titans this time around – and then set the price. Only willing to part with a single penny in exchange for five fantastic games? Be our guest. Oh, but then you'll have to deal with the guilt.

See, you also get to choose how your money is split among four recipients: indie devs, the bundle's organizers, the Electronic Frontier Foundation, and the Child's Play Charity. Fortunately, the Christmas spirit seems to be alive and well with gamers so far, including none other than Minecraft creator Notch, who's leading the charge with $2000 donated.

Anyway, we've said our bit. This is either the best game-related deal out there or the most mutually beneficial charity you can find. “Humble” might be understating it a bit, seeing as this is one of the greatest ideas out there. So then, wallets (or change purses) at the ready...

In a world full of fast cars, dangerous characters, and other fast cars, someone's bound to get left behind. In the case of Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit, that “someone” is unfortunately you, Mr. John Q PC Gaming Aficionado. (Perhaps they were intimidated by your excessively lengthy name?)

“Hey all, unfortunately we will not be releasing Need for Speed Hot Pursuit PDLC for the PC. While we are certainly committed to providing the best possible game experience and ongoing support for our PC community, (as you have already noted) we have a limited amount of resources that makes it so that we are unable to deliver new content to all platforms,” a poster from developer Criterion wrote on the game's official forums.

Fortunately, he also gave some vague (but nonetheless appreciated) assurance, adding that “on the positive side we do have more updates and content on the way for PC players--look for news very soon.”

New content that's not DLC? Outside of retail expansion packs, is there such a thing? Perhaps they're adding more speed. There is, after all, a certain desire for it. One might even call it a... “a physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of an organism.”     

To call Final Fantasy XIV's launch "disastrous" might be a bit of an understatement. Hell, we may have even gone with “cataclysmic” if another obscure MMO didn't already have the market cornered on that one. The bottom line? FFXIV was near-universally panned by critics and players alike, with everything from maps to tutorials to its entire questing system ranging from half-baked to a slip of paper with the words “IOU” written on it.

At the very least, however, Square Enix recognizes that its flagship MMO probably shouldn't have set sail as soon as it did, so the publisher's decided to take away its subscription fee entirely until the game's in working order.

“To realize this vision, and in doing so, provide our customers with a better game experience, we have assembled our company's top talent and resources. Taking over the role of producer and director is Naoki Yoshida, a passionate individual for whom customer satisfaction has always taken top priority. We also welcome several new leaders handpicked from other projects to work with the existing talent on Final Fantasy XIV,” reads a post on FFXIV's official site.

“We realize time is of the essence and are fully determined to provide our customers with quality service. It is because of this that we ask our customers to be patient until we are able to confidently present them with a concrete plan outlining Final Fantasy XIV's new direction. The free trial period will be extended until that time.”

Some tips to get you started, Square: keep the brief storyline cut-scenes that pop up once every ten levels or so and get rid of everything else. There, now you already have a whole 30 minutes of worthwhile content! Aren't we helpful?