The original Crysis didn't exactly give piracy a nanosuit-powered sock to the face, and Crysis 2 doesn't appear to be faring much better. TorrentFreak's annual report pegs the not-quite-as-PC-melting sequel at 3,920,000 downloads. Modern Warfare 3 and Battlefield 3, meanwhile, wouldn't even stop nipping at each other's throats while someone robbed them blind -- coming in at 3,650,000 and 3,510,000 downloads, respectively. And, because even keeping PC gaming as we know it from face-planting and flat-lining isn't worth some brand loyalty, Valve's Portal 2 also made the list with 3,240,000 downloads. Which is all our way of saying: 2012 Mayan dieties, we humbly offer the world's supply of PC pirates in exchange for the continued existence of the rest of, er, existence. Huh, what's that about a swirling abyss of pain and torment? Oh no, you won't hear any objections from us.
You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you just know something's about to go horribly wrong? Like when someone says “This can't possibly go wrong!” or “Let's buy iPhones”? Well, that's how we felt when EA and Valve started taking their toothbrushes back from each others' houses. Obviously, Battlefield 3 wasn't going to benefit from the divorce. And so, predictably – but no less regrettably – here we are.
Gamers love oppositions. PC versus console. Mario vs Sonic. Dude from Modern Warfare 3 vs Other Guy from Battlefield 3. And so on. So when gamers spotted EA lumbering toward the digital arena and even throwing around some fightin' words, they assumed things were about to get ugly. Bets were placed, dukes were put up, and... nope. According to EA's David DeMartini, it's all just a big misunderstanding. We're still keeping your bet money, though.
Ever find yourself blasting murderous squid monsters in the face-like-appendage, only to eyeball a nearby piece of shrubbery, drop your weapons in sheer disgust, and wander away from the heat of battle muttering about “tessellation, realistic shadows with variable penumbra, and HDR motion blur”? Oh man, we know the feeling. Fortunately, the new Crysis 2 Ultra upgrade has all those things and DirectX 11 support! Grab the 2.32GB patch load here. Now then, we believe there are some squid monsters that need killing – you know, unless they're now so beautiful that you can't stand to tarnish their hideous gelatinous outer membranes.
Crysis 2's quite a looker, but it certainly didn't make your PC explode. Hell, we bet it only caught on fire a little. And – given the original Crysis' bleeding-edge legacy – we'd be lying if we said that wasn't a bit of a letdown. Crytek, however, isn't about to leave us high, dry, and without a few flecks of PC shrapnel forever lodged in our lungs. The developer still cares, and as proof of that, it's dropping a big, fat DX11-shaped love letter on PC gamers' doorsteps – completely free of charge.
First, a quick recap: A couple weeks ago, EA announced its brand new PC gaming download service, Origin. The publisher then took Origin to E3 and promoted it until our dreams began telling us to “download the rest of your innermost desires on Origin!” Days later, Crysis 2 went into invisibility mode and crept away from Steam's hallowed halls – permanently. Hell of way for EA to declare war, huh? Well, it would have been – you know, if EA had actually done anything.
A few weeks ago, we took a not-so-fond look at the console portion of the grotesque, unruly mass (in some circles known as a “family”) that is the gaming world. As we often do with those with whom we share any sort of relation, we proceeded to list off all the ways they've wronged us. We find it to be a good ice-breaker. Now, though, we've been struck with some strange and debiltating malady that top scientists are calling “civility,” and we've realized there's plenty of good mixed in with the bad. No, seriously. Consoles, we may not always get along, but we'd be remiss if we didn't give you due praise for having our backs every once in a while. Now go! Jump past the break before we change our minds.
You there! Yes, you. We can see it: you're glowing. Are you about to give birth to a brand new bouncing baby rig? That sounds terrifying. We usually build ours. Regardless, you can't just put that thing on your desk and let it gather dust. You need to show it off to everyone within a two-mile radius with an audiovisual assault that sends small woodland animals fleeing for higher ground. But where to start? There are so many games and so little time before your machine becomes completely obsolete.
Fortunately, we're here to help. So, without further ado, here are 12 games that'll have your friends going green with envy at your bleeding-edge PC's bulging Technology Biceps. Jump past the break to see them all.
You can take Crysis out of the jungle, but you can’t take the jungle out of Crysis. For those worried that Crysis 2’s city-slicking setting would turn it into a cramped corridor crawl, go ahead and activate strength mode, grab your fears, and ragdoll them 30 feet in the air. Crysis 2—while not quite as open as its predecessor—is subtly complex, brilliantly paced, and morbidly satisfying from start to finish. Sure, it’s far from revolutionary, but sometimes, you just want to put on a talking suit and shoot squid monsters, you know? OK, that made more sense in our heads. Allow us to explain.
You've reached the end of another day, and a Monday no less. It wasn't easy, but you began the uphill battle that is yet another work week with grace, poise, and some other adjectives that aren't generally used in reviews of ice-skating performances. Still though, you can't shake this weird feeling – like something's missing. And that's because it is. You were promised a Crysis 2 “Advanced Graphics Setting” patch, after all. What gives? Well, as it turns out, we've all been had.