Steve Ballmer Outlines Plan to Reorganize Microsoft Into a Lean, Mean, Streamlined Machine

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HenryT

Balmer is all that is wrong with Microsoft.

There is a saying in hockey:

"A good player goes to where the puck is. A great player goes to where the puck is going to be."

Balmer comes in to play after the game is over, the season has ended, and everyone is now playing basketball.

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TrollBot5000

Cmon guys Photo Caption Contest. "Mr. Ballmer how big is the dildo you use on Windows 8 and and future xbox one customers?"

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Watermellon

The only thing Microsoft need fear is Balmer himself. Perhaps he will leave before rescuing this company becomes impossible.

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maxeeemum

This is starting to look like a Dilbert comic strip.

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TrollBot5000

lol +1

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yammerpickle2

So in a long winded e-mail he writes about streamlining. Hmm, wouldn't a short e-mail, or link to short video be more "streamlined". Also removing himself as the millstone around MS's neck would be a great way of streamlining MS. Just think of all engineers that could be funded by removing him.

As acting head of MS the fact Ballmer has to have a massive reorg means he has not been doing his job by making a series of smaller changes to keep MS current with the tech landscape.

Plus he reminds me of a turtle on acid without the shell or of Young Frankenstein around fire.

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Electrik

Don't forget the department of privacy and surveillance.

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dedgar

I notice that there is no "Listen To The Feedback From Consumers Department".
Anyone else see that? Or should I say, not see that?

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fung0

"We will see our product line holistically, not as a set of islands," Ballmer said.

This is always a bad idea, and always anti-consumer. What Ballmer is saying is that he (with his amazing grasp of technology) has one single grandiose strategy that he will now force upon all Microsoft's customers. Unfortunately, nobody wants that.

Consumers don't give a rat's ass if their phone and their desktop PC both have colored tiles on them. Or they both connect to Microsoft's cloud service. They want each device to be the best it can be; the grand strategy can only get in the way. What's more, they want each device to give them choices, access to third-party goods and services. A grand strategy is not only antithetical to that desire, it's deliberately antithetical to it.

This "holistic" BS from Mr. SB is just a marketer's euphemism for lock-in - that pipe dream of leveraging a strength in one area (e.g. Windows) to gain an undeserved foothold in an unrelated area (e.g. phones). It may temporarily convince a few stockholders, but it certainly has nothing to do with giving the best service to consumers.

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wumpus

Historically, MS destroyed any competition and basically forced the consumer to pay plenty for shoddy software. Since 2000 or so, they have been desperately trying to maintain/restore their ability to do so under Gates.

The idea that MS could possibly do anything in the consumer's interest (except, perhaps go bankrupt) is mind-boggling.

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RUSENSITIVESWEETNESS

Therein lies Ballmer's key failing: He regards consumers as mere ciphers to be bent to his will, not as the PEOPLE his company must please to stay in business, to remain relevant.

We have all learned that when Microsoft says "encourage," they mean "force," and definitely not "entice."

It's product that drives sales. And Microsoft keeps fucking up its core product on a regular basis. He should be more focused on improving that product, instead of inventing more streamlined ways to manipulate consumers.

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skelleman

I love it when someone in charge hails change and new leadership... and remains as leader... The author of the same tired crap is now going to be the innovator... this happens both in politics and in private industry, sadly it fools a lot of people into believing that this "change" and the promised land or whatever are coming. If Ballmer wants change, he should start by firing all the old "talent" including himself and hiring new innovative and capable staff with fresh ideas and a new perspective. Go figure...

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Renegade Knight

As a general rule. Companies should incrementally reorganized over time as their products and market change. When you announce a huge re-organization after you have been running the company for a while it means.
1) You were too timid doing your job.
2) You weren't doing your job.
3) You were asleep at the wheel and got caught by surprise by all the needed changes which is really another way to say. #2.

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Granite

Or:

3) (since you repeated #2) The market is changing quickly and you decide to broaden your position in it...which requires fast and bold action.

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RUSENSITIVESWEETNESS

MBA's and their career-justifying buzzwords

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Granite

The thing to do is...not listen to the rhetoric...whether coming from a CEO or coming from a politician. Instead, look at the actions and the results.

I take Ballmer's words with the same grain of salt that I take Obama's words and, meanwhile, look for the results.

I'll keep an open mind for the time being.

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wolfing

Whenever I see the word 'streamline' I cry. Too many times a sequel to a game I loved gets killed by 'streamlining' (basically removing features so that a 1 year old can play it)

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CaptainFabulous

In the wake of all the anti-consumer and anti-privacy features of the XBox One and Windows 8 let's just say I'm not holding my breath.

A good start would be providing features that people want, not features that consumers loathe but are put in anyway because they bring Microsoft more money.

Sorry, I'm not buying it. Just more PR spin and damage control.

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Mungo

>>>Steve Ballmer Outlines Plan to Reorganize Microsoft Into a Lean, Mean, Streamlined Machine<<<<

Now if he could only do that with his OS

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AFDozerman

Starting to look like Android is the Windows of the future...

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wumpus

"I'd like to say that I knew this would happen, that it's all part of the plan for world domination." - Linus Torvolds 1999

Routers - check (at least 99%)
phones - check
tablets - check
[internet] servers - check (.NET is putting up a fight, but apache relentlessly grows)
supercomputers - check (Linux 70%, Unix:30%. Just a matter of time)
desktop - getting closer. Couldn't have said that a few years ago.

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AFDozerman

Agreed. It's been getting closer all the time. Thing is, I don't think linux's final victory will come until the real-world manifestation of the "Post PC Era" (although it will be very, very different than the Steve Jobs version). Microsoft is trying to move into the ARM smartphone and tablet space and neglecting the big X86 space that isn't just going to disappear, leaving a power vacuum that I think will be filled with Linux. At that point, I can imagine we will start seeing a lot more ports from professional developers.

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Iglidden

Is it just me or do all of Steve's pictures remind you of the hybrid Alien\Human baby from the Alien: Resurrection movie?

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dedgar

Mr. Magoo comes to my mind.

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Refuge88

When I see him I see a turtle with no shell on acid.

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ThomasLG

He has always reminded me of Major Charles Emerson Winchester from the M*A*S*H series in the 70's -- just try a Google Image search!

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RUSENSITIVESWEETNESS

Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein:

http://s.mcstatic.com/thumb/7526051/20575563/4/flash_player/0/1/young_frankenstein_monster_on_fire.jpg?v=2

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cldmstrsn

Wait so are the new Haswell chips actually IVBE? No one answered and I am confused!

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Refuge88

If the quotes were taken letter for letter, I think that Ballmer should try using his companies own products for some spell/grammer checks... Amarite?

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Hey.That_Dude

"We will see hour product line holistically, not as a set of island," Ballmer said.

I think he also meant "our" as in - belonging to us - rather than "hour" - a measurement of time -. Yeah, M$ is kind of screwed. They need to start opening up their products instead of walling them off like crApple.

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ThomasLG

You are; however, it should be "company's" (rather than "companies") -- even Word's spelling and grammar checkers don't always do a great job. Maybe he DID use them (ROFL).

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Refuge88

Next time call me out in an email so that my public image isn't tarnished! lol

As a CEO you would think everything he sends is reviewed a couple times by some form of secretary... right?

I know if I were a CEO I wouldn't ever type again, I'd have a secretary follow me at all times doing it for me. ;)

But thats because I generally have terrible grammer... :(

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cldmstrsn

You do have terrible grammar* haha

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HiGHRoLLeR038

+1
I was going to ask if that was a direct copy/paste quote or if Paul retyped it wrong lol.

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Paul_Lilly

The hour/our typo was my goof, Ballmer gets a pass on that one.

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Hey.That_Dude

Aww, I'm sorry. I thought I was bashing on Palmer. Keep up the good work.

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Refuge88

SMH...

:P

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TommM

That's it - let the beatings commence!

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Refuge88

Glad I'm not the only one who thought that initially. :)