Where is Your God Now?

Like a few readers, I too read April's how-to with a healthy bit of skepticism. Especially the part about "sticking your keyboard in the dishwasher" as a viable cleaning solution for all the gunk, shredded cheese, and cat hair that gets in between good ol' A, S, D, and F. I mean, it's why The Good Lord invented air, and why Man invented compression. And when these two entities combine all Captain Planet-style, they create the wonder-drug that is Air In A Can, which one can subsequently use to rid one's keyboard of all the little nasties.

But what, pray tell, does one do about this?

In case the picture doesn't spell out the nightmare well enough, what happened here was an unintended meet-and-greet between a full glass of sticky, Safeway Fruit Punch (only $0.80! hits the spot!) and an average 22-year-old male's desk. The mess covered just about everything -- including Xbox games and nin memorabilia -- and drenched the keyboard in a red rain shower of problems. In short, it got everywhere. Ev-ree-where.

After about 3 minutes of profanity, 2 minutes of trying to remember where the paper towels were, 3 minutes of coaxing the cat out of the punch-filled bedroom, and 45 minutes of dabbing and cleaning, I was left with a final, Herculean task: how to restore the keyboard, now reservoir, to operational status. Or at least make the keys not-stick.

First, I attempted to go about the clean-up like fresh-out-of-college-boy I am -- brute force. Using the edges of small, cut-up paper towels, I tried to coax the fruit punch out from in between the various keys.
Success Rate: 20%

For my second attempt, I tried the ol' "turn it upside-down and shake it" strategy. While it worked a little bit, i quickly learned that I was simply making more of a mess all over the now-clean desk. The liquid did drip out of the keyboard, but hardly enough to claim any sort of victory here.
Success Rate: 2%

Having found the fancy key extractor device for my Razer Tarantula keyboard, I figured it worth a shot to start ripping keys out and inspecting the damage first-hand. I got through most of the left-hand keys before realizing that the punch had spread quite far, and getting it all out of the keyboard would likely require the removal of all the keys. And based on the previous upside-down strategy, I also learned that the punch had gone through the keyboard and was now dripping out the bottom as well.
Success Rate: 5%

It was then that I remembered our lovely how-to guide, and specifically, one particular reader's query: can you stuff a Logitech G15 into a dishwasher? Wouldn't that totally screw up the electronics? Well, a Tarantula is hardly a G15, but seeing as it's the fanciest keyboard I have, I figured it would be worth investigating. That said, I picked up the dripping keyboard, walked over to the sink, and began to give the little guy a shower.

Since then, the Tarantula's spent about 2 full days drying off. While I figure you could probably get away with a one-day dry, I want to make absolutely sure that none of the fancy inner electronics are at all wet, damp, or lightly moistened. I mean, it's a fancy keyboard. And I've grown used to the guy; I'm on my backup right now, an old lit-up Saitek. But it just isn't the same. *sobs* It just isn't the same.

Stay tuned, and I'll let you know if my $100+ keyboard has survived an $0.80 2-liter...

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david, murphy, keyboard, spill

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