Large Hadron Collider has Legal Go-Ahead to Destroy Earth (Accidentally)

Paul Lilly

Prior to flipping the power switch, nervous Nellies feared that the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) would spell doom for our home planet as it goes knocking protons into each other. One Hawaiian dude named Walter Wagner even took the concern to court by suing to have the project shut down. He failed, of course, but wasn't finished working the legal system.

An appellate judge for the United States District Court in Hawaii has again disappointed Wagner by denying his appeal, saying he failed to show "credible threat of harm." The judge also said that the U.S. doesn't control the Collider, so our legal system would be powerless to stop it anyway.

"The European Center for Nuclear Research (CERN) proposed and constructed the Collider, albeit with some U.S. government support," Senior District Judge Helen Gillmor explained . "The U.S. government enjoys only observer status on the CERN council, and has no control over CERN or its operations. Accordingly, the alleged injury, destruction of the earth, is in no way attributable to the U.S. government's failure to draft an environmental impact statement."

Gillmor went on to say that even if the court ruled in favor of Wagner, the decision would have no impact on CERN or Collider operations, "and would not afford Wagner the relief he seeks."

So in other words, if the LHC does destroy the earth and all of mankind, Wagner will have to take his lawsuit international.

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