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 Post subject: Re: J O K E Thread - We want your best - Skip the rest
PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 5:06 am 
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dedgar wrote:
THE NEW

The ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

This one is a little different....
Two Different Versions ...


OLD VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.


MODERN VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so ?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green...'

Occupy the Anthill stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the SEIU (Service Employees International Union) group singing, 'We shall overcome'.

Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper's sake, while he damns the ants.

President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight..

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.

The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.




http://youtu.be/IKH4nY4WlFY
I would LOL but to much truth in it. Not sure if you are all old enough but in this story it's the grasshopper who is learning. Just the first minute or so teaches it all.

You could add a few things but then it would get way to political for a joke thread.


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 Post subject: Re: J O K E Thread - We want your best - Skip the rest
PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 6:07 am 
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EasyE wrote:
Not sure if you are all old enough.........


age of dirt < age of dedgar
Truman was Prez
Ok, yuk it up with age jokes now, I can take it.
I'm an old fart on the edge with lots of guns and ammo. BRING IT!!!!!!
:twisted:


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 Post subject: Re: J O K E Thread - We want your best - Skip the rest
PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 6:56 am 
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dedgar wrote:
EasyE wrote:
Not sure if you are all old enough.........


age of dirt < age of dedgar
Truman was Prez
Ok, yuk it up with age jokes now, I can take it.
I'm an old fart on the edge with lots of guns and ammo. BRING IT!!!!!!
:twisted:


Then we can LOL together, although I am no way near the Truman time. You are much wiser then I. But back to a joke;


An old man was sitting on a bench and a young man sat down next to him. All of a sudden the old man starts to cry and the young man asks him wats wrong.

The old man replys "iam retired and i have millions of dollars in the bank from being the president of a company and i have a beautiful 25 year old wife who loves to have sex."

The young man replies then why the hell are you crying?

The old man replies i forgot where i live!!!!

E

P.S. If my family and I show up at your house don't shoot.


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 Post subject: Re: J O K E Thread - We want your best - Skip the rest
PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 12:38 pm 
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dedgar wrote:
EasyE wrote:
Not sure if you are all old enough.........


age of dirt < age of dedgar
Truman was Prez
Ok, yuk it up with age jokes now, I can take it.
I'm an old fart on the edge with lots of guns and ammo. BRING IT!!!!!!
:twisted:


be careful what you ask for, i am an old fart with lots of guns and nothing else to do. Roosevelt was in office when I was born. :roll:


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 Post subject: Re: J O K E Thread - We want your best - Skip the rest
PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 2:27 pm 
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g.m.waters (red ranger3) wrote:
dedgar wrote:
EasyE wrote:
Not sure if you are all old enough.........


age of dirt < age of dedgar
Truman was Prez
Ok, yuk it up with age jokes now, I can take it.
I'm an old fart on the edge with lots of guns and ammo. BRING IT!!!!!!
:twisted:


be careful what you ask for, i am an old fart with lots of guns and nothing else to do. Roosevelt was in office when I was born. :roll:


Which one? Franklin or Teddy?


(Hey!! Watch where you're pointing that thing it might be loaded.)


Oh, yeah. The joke:

While creating women, God made a promise to men that good, quiet and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.



...............And then She smiled and made the earth round.


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 Post subject: Re: J O K E Thread - We want your best - Skip the rest
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 5:03 pm 
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BUMP!

I remember spending hours each night reading this thread when I first started. Thought it would be good to bring back to the front page. Hopefully people can add to it, but even if they don't, maybe some newbies will get a laugh or two.


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