Duke Nukem Forever may or may not be completely caput, but the autopsy’s already well underway. The findings of said dig through Duke’s remains include
, and – oh – the game’s
From what we could gather, Duke Nukem Forever was intended to be a linear shooter – not unlike Half-Life or something of its ilk – but, as is Duke’s wont, completely over-the-top. Apparently, Duke’s late
adventure begins with the big man having, er, relations with two assuredly voluptuous vixens and playing his own videogame.
At the same time
. If that’s not the American Dream, we don’t know what is.
Then aliens invade, as they sometimes do, and Duke ducks into the Duke Cave (official terminology, not kidding) in order to suit up for a hard day of sharp-shooting and verbal emasculation. Shame he apparently forgets his gum. Again. From there on, Duke fights aliens (including classics like the Pigcop) at pretty much every location imaginable, both in space and on our invasion-prone planet, until finally toppling the fathership and appearing on a talk show.
Gameplay concepts that were to be featured prominently in 3D Realms’ take on DNF include: a shrink ray, a tiny drivable RC car, jetpacks, nukes, playing as a character named Bombshell, and something called the Devestator. 12 years? We would’ve waited 20.
To be honest, though, DNF doesn’t sound like it would’ve been the Greatest Game of All Time. Good? Probably. But with its tumultuous development history, it likely wouldn’t have turned quite as many heads as it would’ve rolled eyes. Even so, the game does sound like more of what made Duke 3D so much fun, and we’re still holding out hope that it’ll be finished and released eventually.