Bill Gates Goes Into Semi-Retirement


Today, Bill Gates ends his full time job with Microsoft. Bill is not going away entirely; he will remain in a part time capacity so he can spend more time on his global health charity.

Since the company's founding in 1975 he has been lead the technical genius and decision maker behind it. It’s undeniable that he’s done something right given the heights he has risen to. Love Microsoft or hate it, it’s been so successful due in no small part to his drive and vision.

To celebrate Bill’s semi-retirement, here are a few of the Microsoft jokes I’ve heard over the years:

  • They say when you play that Microsoft CD backward you can hear satanic messages ... but that's nothing. If you play it forward it will install Windows.
  • There once was a man who, in his youth, wanted to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing their error messages.
  • The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.
  • The real name of Bill Gates is William Henry Gates III. Nowadays he is known as Bill Gates (III), where ``III'' means the order of third (obviously).

    By converting the letters of his current name to the ASCII-values and adding his III or adding 3, you get the following:

    B I L L G A T E S (III)
    66+73+76+76+71+65+84+69+83+3 = 666

    Some might ask, "How did Bill Gates get so powerful?" Coincidence? Or just the beginning of mankind's ultimate and total enslavement? You decide!
It seems the only jokes more prolific than Microsoft jokes are blonde jokes (the MS jokes do however, often tend to be at least ironic ). What are some of the best MS jokes you've heard? Respond in your comments below.

Perhaps the only profile more recognizable than Bill Gates is Alfred Hitchcock , both have been called masters of horror.

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