Portal 2 Review
Gordon Freeman who?

Let’s get one thing straight right away: Portal 2 is not Portal 1. Don’t get us wrong: Portal 2 is still completely brilliant—just in entirely different ways. If Portal 1 was an incredibly witty one-liner, then Portal 2 is a whole night of stand-up. That is to say, it’s still smart, subversive, and riotously funny, but it does manage to drag in a couple areas—if only briefly.
Portal 2 sees previous heroine Chell awaken many, many years after her fateful game of “Ha ha, got your brain” with hilariously nefarious AI GLaDOS. The first character you encounter this time around, however, is a far friendlier face (or fast-chattering robo-eye, as it were). His name’s Wheatley, and he’s equal parts cowardly, incompetent, and voiced by Stephen Merchant. Primarily for that last reason, you will instantly fall in love with him. He’s an amazing counter to GLaDOS’s morose musings and exemplifies Portal 2’s more expansive tone and breadth of material.

We’re calling it now: best new videogame character of the year.
The other new character—who we’re not going to mention by name for fear of spoilers—doesn’t fare quite so well. Put simply, his run-of-the-mill jokes and personality don’t quite reach the sterling standard set by GLaDOS and Wheatley—an issue not helped by the fact that his levels are a bit too expansive for their own good, which causes Portal 2’s pacing to take a disappointing dip during its middle chapters. Fortunately, things pick up again before too terribly long, and the resulting wave of momentum crashes into an absolutely fantastic ending.
The real stars of the show, however, are the puzzles. Once again, Valve’s masterful ability to reprogram your brain with all manner of subtly game-changing objects and techniques is on full display. With the game’s substantial increase in length and drip-feed of tools like Aerial Faith Plates, Hard Light Bridges, and redirectable lasers, puzzles are certainly more complicated this time around. Even so, you probably won’t notice, as Valve’s brilliant design could convince even the world’s worst puzzle-solver that he/she is a complete genius.

A bridge—or, as someone with a portal gun would call it, “peasant travel.”
Co-op, meanwhile, adds yet another layer of complexity (two portal guns!) and manages to be ridiculously satisfying as a result. There are some real head-scratchers in the mix, but having two heads to scratch instead of one speeds up the process more than enough to make up for it. The end result? Brain-twisting bliss. There’s really nothing quite like hitting a wall, thinking out loud for 10 minutes, and then—just when all hope seems lost—having simultaneous “eureka” moments. It’s cooperative in the truest sense, and you may very well come away feeling closer to another human being as a result.
Consequently, Portal 2 is far more than “Portal, but longer.” Its newfound scale affords it greater variety in locales, puzzles, and characters, leading to an entirely new tone and feel. By and large, Portal 2’s hugely successful in making the jump up to the big leagues, but inevitably, a few jokes are duds and a few crummy puzzles made the cut. But hey, no comedian ever has a perfect night. The best ones just give you so many highs that you forget the lows even happened.
$45, www.thinkwithportals.com, ESRB: E10+
Portal 2

ANIMAL KING
Hilarious, incredibly well-written story; brain-bending puzzles; excellent co-op.
SENTIENT CLOUD
Middle section drags a bit; some not-so-memorable jokes.
9
Comments
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Joji
May 13, 2011 at 1:16pm
Take away the blood and the "I'll kill you" lines and there we go! It's rated E10 now! LoL... ESRB can be so random at times. xD Just like they rated the eechi moe galge game, Neptunia, T for Teen.
Overall this is one of the best games I've played. Unfortunately, due to its graphical updates, it lags on my crappy laptop A LOT (unstable 20FPS). Other VALVe games like HL2 and Portal 1 worked pretty smoothly on my crappy laptop. :/
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Code_Man65
May 13, 2011 at 12:06pm
I really do not get the complaints about the middle part of the game, I found those parts and the narritive just as funny as the rest of the game. There are tons of little details in that area that add to the story.
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Roll Tide
May 13, 2011 at 2:11pm
I agree. It was so frickin cool to be able to use the portal gun in "regular environments". You will find in the middle levels clues to future expansion of portal levels and more bonus content and all the a**********s. Now if you will excuse me I found the boat, and the lady in the portrait but I need to find the others.
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Neufeldt2002
May 13, 2011 at 1:03pm
Couldn't agree with you more.
Please make publish to facebook opt-in, not opt-out.
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TommM
May 13, 2011 at 11:23am
I'd still give it a 9, but drop the kick-ass designator due to the length as Ghok mentioned. 6 hours to finish the single person campaign and about 3 hours to do the co-op side. 9 hours of total play for a $50 game? Should have been sold for $30. Not to mention replay value is about nil. Once you've done it, you've done it.
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DRAGONWEEZEL
May 13, 2011 at 12:39pm
You bragging? Did you replay portal 1 right before you played 2?
I agree that it's short, I agree that the price was rediculous for that length, but actually, I guess I agree w/ you completely.
But there is 1 replay value: Time runs. and time run contests.
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AnglicDemon00
May 13, 2011 at 1:58pm
Anothing thing to consider would be DLC and the first one being free. Thanks to the co-op and how co-op ends they have plenty of room for DLC both for single and co-op
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Big Hoss
May 13, 2011 at 11:22am
Just some advice. Amazon has it for $30. That's 40% off. That's a lot of milkshakes.
And there will be challenge levels + the mod tools are out. All in good time Ghok.
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Ghok
May 13, 2011 at 10:38am
I think Portal 2 was great, but I would like to have a little more replay value. Those extra challanges in the first game really did go a long way.
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knexkid
May 13, 2011 at 11:15am
I heard rumors that Valve will be updating in challenges/etc on a later date. I really hope so because I agree. I played through both Coop and campaign twice and I'm really not compeled to ever play it again unless they give me those challenges.
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Marthian
May 13, 2011 at 12:32pm
Also, like someone else said, there will be mod tools so you can create or obtain community-created maps, something valve is pretty notorous for, which is why their games are played so much even after being out for a long time. Adds so much replayability. I say the 9 + Kickass reward is justified, I just can't wait to try some of the maps people create.
EDIT: Actually, the mod tools ARE out (despite still being in Beta, its open to anyone that owns Portal 2)
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silverblack
May 13, 2011 at 12:15pm
Not a rumor. That DLC is supposed to come out in summer and be free across all platforms, at least according to the news on Steam.
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DRAGONWEEZEL
May 13, 2011 at 1:50pm
I have to say it was an awesome game, I'm about 80% done, my only real problem was achievments for progress throughout the campaign. How lame is that? it's like a graduation party for going from 5th to 6th grade.
Achievments for doing something extra = awesome. Achievements for just finishing a level not so much.
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Kinetic
May 15, 2011 at 1:02pm
Bingo. Achievements for finishing a level is essentially the game giving you a gold star for showing up. When can we get rid of those?
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