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First thing’s first: Team Fortress 2’s Sniper vs. Spy update is live. Hunting bows, new levels, and mother-themed pistols can all be yours after a bit of unlocking. And speaking of unlocking, Valve’s drastically decreased the amount of elbow grease needed to up your arsenal. That’s right – if achievements aren’t your cup of tea, you can now play the game normally and still have a shot at scoring some new gear.
"Items now drop randomly, in addition to the old (pre Spy/Sniper unlockables) achievement tied weapons," Valve’s Robin Walker told Shacknews. "We're going to release info on the new system on the blog tomorrow."
So then, about the whole urine thing. Valve recently blew the lid off the Sniper’s final item, and well, we sort of wish they hadn’t. See, it’s pee. Um, yeah.
You thought the hunting bow was old school? Now the Sniper can fling his bodily fluids about like some kind of primate. Just pop a jar of his patented “Jarate” on your foes and they’ll absorb 35% extra damage for a little while. Also, if you live by the Laws of the Wild, they’ll forever be marked as your territory. Your damp, odorous territory.
Better still, fire doesn’t stand a chance against Jarate. And for your buddies who don’t stand a chance against fire, well, being covered in the Sniper’s yellow stuff is definitely the lesser of two evils.
So, what are you waiting for? The update’s completely free, and – until Monday – the game is too. Or, if you’re ready to commit, Valve’s knocked 50% off its price. Try and then buy. Or don’t. You really can’t go wrong here.
Comments are closed on this article
GFC
May 22, 2009 at 5:08am
I already have two new watches, but i have to say: i kinda do prefer the old one more. But taunt-killing while invis., that's gold!
Keith E. Whisman
May 22, 2009 at 2:47am
Other than it being disgusting I can't see how pee can have any negetive effect on anyone that gets covered with it other than of course getting pissed off for being pissed on.
Heck you can safely drink urine because it's mostly water and if you can drink, however disgusting it is, it still won't harm anyone. Perhaps if the sniper has cooties but then that will take a long time before your opponent will feel any ill effects and then I'm not sure anything bad will survive in urine in a jar.
Really I can go on and on with this. I saw Pee and I had to give my two cents. I live for stuff like this.
DBsantos77
May 22, 2009 at 12:27am
I've read that TF2 was really great at the start, but then valve was "nubinizing" the game if that's even a word. Is it true? I have the game installed just never played it. Into CS:S still.
kc7wbq
May 22, 2009 at 11:48am
When I heard about TF2's unlockable weapons I avoided the game. I hate the idea that I might be more skilled than some other player, but he kills me because he has a weapon I don't have access to.
But since then I've become a huge fan of the game. Valve does an awesome job of balancing the new weapons so they give you an advantage in one way, but a disadvantage in another. For example the pyro can get the backburner that is more deadly if you are hit from behind, but I hardly every use it becuase I've learned to use the blowback of the regular flamethrower.
If you've played for a while the new weapons allow you to try new tactics, keeping the game fresh and exciting. If you are new, just ignore the new weapons, you don't need them, learn to play with the old ones and move on when you are ready.
Havok
May 22, 2009 at 6:29am
Ditch Counter Strike, play TF2! You'll love it if you enjoy CS:S! Plus, its a little more fast paced and Valve is continuing to update it regularily, other thant ts 'older' games.
OMGWTFBBQ
Darth Ninja
May 22, 2009 at 12:17am
This update stinks, I've been playing for 5 hours straight and I haven't found anything, one of my friends has found 5 items he already has...
What kid of lame-ass system is that valve?
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DarthNinja
www.DarthNinja.com
Darth Ninja
May 22, 2009 at 1:10am
Oh yea, I forgot to mention, the unlock system is 100% NOT skill based - you can get unlocks when you're AFK, and -get this- in SPECTATOR.
It makes me wonder if valve playtested this patch at all :(
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DarthNinja
www.DarthNinja.com
