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Large Hadron Collider Succumbs to Single Bad Solder, Repairs to Cost $21 Million

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Don’t worry, fear mongers. The LHC isn’t going to start up anytime soon, and it’s all because of one bad solder.

When the LHC was initially started up, it was doing lots. It was going through all of its testing, it was gathering plenty of data to boot, and it wasn’t destroying the planet (I like that last one the most). The testing process of CERN’s love child was well underway, but sadly came to an immediate halt when a transformer broke in the last stage of testing, taking down plenty of expensive circuits with it. All, according to Spokesman James Gillies, thanks to one bad solder.

June is slated for the earliest restart date, but until then they’ve got a massive $21 million to spend on repairs. What exactly they plan to spend it on hasn’t been announced.

 

Image Credit: CERN

COMMENTS:8
COMMENTS
avatarThe end is near, 12-21-2012

 This is when the collider will create said black hole and swallow us all.  They are even making a movie about it.

I dont know about anyone else who is up on the significance of that date on the Mayan calander, but I plan on having plenty of booze on hand so I can feel cheery when nothing actually happens and everyone worried for nothing.

***********

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

"In Ireland, there are more drunks per capita than people."  -  Peter Griffin

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avataroh come on! Its obvious

oh come on! Its obvious whats really going on: The results of the data from the collider eventually leads to technological innovations the cause the end of the world, and people from the future have come back in time to sabotage the collider in an annoying attempt to save us all. Yeah, how about it, lets start that conversation.

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avatarThe collider is supposed to

The collider is supposed to accellerate millions of positive particles in one direction while also accellerating negative particles in an opposite direction faster and faster with each lap. The particles will accellerate to as close to the speed of light as possible and then the particles will be made to collide. This will cause an explosion of sorts as particles spit apart from the collision. There is a remote possibility that a gravitational singularity aka a black hole will appear and suck in and crunch up the planet and eventually the solar system as it grows more and more powerful as it consumes matter. This is only a remote possibility. It's more likely that the particles will just smash against each other and break appart and there are detectors designed to detect most if not all the possible particles and a special sensor that will hopefully dectect gravitons (gravity quantified as the smallest single particle of gravity. They hope that some of the gravity will disappear and prove the exsistence of extra dimmensions besides the 4 we know about now (3physical spacial dimensions and 1 of time) I think it's bunk because gravity is the effect that a body of mass has on the surface of space time. Space time is displaced by bodies of mass (aka planets, stars, astroids and the like) and the ripple around the body in space time is gravity. I can go on and on.... You would probably never guess I'm HighSchool drop out...

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avatarwhy does gravity affect

why does gravity affect space-time?

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avatarGravity is the effect matter

Gravity is the effect matter has on the surface of space-time as matter displaces space-time much like a ship displaces water.

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avatarIt is also a shame that you

It is also a shame that you have no idea what you are talking about.

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avataryeah.. I still don't see how

yeah.. I still don't see how it's supposed to destroy the world lol

But wow that is extremely unfortunate!  Someone is going to be taking some heat for that "little" mistake! 

"Life is about living, not stressing" - a very smart girl :)

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avataryeah.. I still don't see how

yeah.. I still don't see how it's supposed to destroy the world lol

But wow that is extremely unfortunate!  Someone is going to be taking some heat for that "little" mistake! 

EDIT: sorry for the double post.. I'm not sure how to delete the redundant one? 

"Life is about living, not stressing" - a very smart girl :)

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