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There are some things that just make you stop and wonder: “Is this the beginning of the end?” Things like global warming, widespread war and poverty, and – of course – the mystifying popularity of Twilight. And then there are things that make you quit your job and spend all your money on a tour of the world's greatest steakhouses, because – damn it all – the four horsemen of the apocalypse are banging down your door right now. Thing numero uno? Duke Nukem Forever's rapidly approaching release date.
Yep, you read that correctly. Duke Nukem Forever's landing on shelves this time. For real. The reason? Gearbox Software – they of Borderlands and Brothers in Arms fame – have started cracking the whip on Duke's notoriously meandering development cycle, and they're making sure the game finally waltzes out the door in time for a 2011 release.
"It's coming in 2011. It's coming in 2011. It's absolutely going to come, and we will have it shipped. We brought you Borderlands last year. We know what we're doing. It's coming on the Xbox 360, the PlayStation 3 and Windows PC," said Gearbox CEO Randy Pitchford during the big unveiling.
But this is Duke Nukem Forever we're talking about. What reason do you have to believe there's not just another 12 year delay waiting around the corner to ambush you the second you get your hopes up? Well, the game's playable at the Penny Arcade Expo, for one. Right now. Look! Here are some videos! You can watch (or read about) Duke Nukem taking a nice, relieving pee this very moment. Let it soothe your fears just as it soothes him.
Ewww. That was a pretty weird sentence. Good thing the apocalypse is happening any day now, or we'd probably never live it down. And on that note, we're making our exit. We've got steakhouses to tour, after all.
Comments are closed on this article
DMXENOMORPH
September 18, 2010 at 6:05am
2-1-2011 Duke Nukem will be here and now is available for preorder on Gamestop and Amazon right now. is there any word on a special edtion???? Now I can start counting the days till its here 135 days. finally the light at the end of the tunnel. Now what about Prey 2?
dpgdog187
September 14, 2010 at 10:24am
I do not think that Gearbox cell shading the Nukem franchise would create an issue. Looking back at Borderlands the shading was annoying but frankly the game play and storyboard more than made up for the cheesy character inlays and don't forge that they are still releasing content patches for the engine so in my opinion it can't be a total loss. The great thing about Gearbox and the acquisition of the Nukem is that idea that company who had a designated demographic went ahead and purchased a franchise in hopes of revitalizing its image and bringing those kicks of doom into our living rooms in the near future. Gearbox, even if you guys drop the ball on this one I salute you for showing some concern for consumers. Now don't make me eat those words!
nealtse
September 05, 2010 at 1:37pm
Duke was a self parodying 90's meathead action hero with all the dimensionality of a piece of paper. As Gaming Culture, haven't we moved past this point already? I'd say 8 years too late.
FattSlice
September 04, 2010 at 8:16pm
Too bad Brothers in Arms was completely broken, but Borderlands WAS awesome... Oh wait, they ruined that too, nevermind... They will probably do the same with game game at the last minute - break the FPS mechanics and make it a child friendly by cell shading it.
DarKarvin
September 05, 2010 at 7:10am
Borderlands WAS awesome... Oh wait, they ruined that too, nevermind...
Totally agree, if Borderlands looked "normal" it would easily be in my all-time top-ten, but, just for how it looks...meh
BuLLg0d
September 04, 2010 at 5:59pm
I'm prone to believe Gearbox so I am excited about this and feel good about my decision.
Signal2Noise
September 04, 2010 at 4:09pm
Duke Nukem Whatever.
Time has passed this game by. I'm tired of all the "it's coming out/it's not coming out" news over the last 13 years. If and when I do see the retail game box sitting on a store shelf I'll pause and say to myself "Oh, it finally made it. That's nice." and then move on past it to choose a game more deserving of my money.
filip007
September 04, 2010 at 3:45pm
This will be postmortem Duke, not sure if that's a good idea but Gearbox will bring Half Life 2 engine. Without 3D Realms logo at the start, i just hope that Gearbox know what's he doing and that this game will not be just a Need for Cash: Armored Truck Edition, because damn you otherwise.
Metalmorphasis
September 04, 2010 at 1:08pm
Yep. In my 50's here too also. Played the origional Duke from start to finish without a single cheat! I hope this next DN is a good one, I don't have much patience left with games!
SEALBoy
September 04, 2010 at 1:01pm
James Cameron filed a lawsuit against every single avatar on the internet. They should all be removed in the coming weeks.
aCi11i3s
September 04, 2010 at 11:59am
gold farmers here?!?!? lol. report! report! Anyway, I'll never play Duke Nuke in spite of the pain and anguish this release has caused the true fans over the years. So release it! I don't care anymore. The same way I feel about HL3 VALVE!
Biceps
September 04, 2010 at 9:57am
They are going to laugh at all of us as they announce a release date sometime in 2015... sigh. This is super exciting, but I will believe it when I have downloaded it on Steam and am playing. Until then it is just a dream
synthetic_man
September 04, 2010 at 8:07am
I can't wait. It has been too long for Duke.
Oh. You guys should look into getting a spam filter.
Danthrax66
September 04, 2010 at 3:26pm
NEVER MAKE ANOTHER STUPID FUCKING SUGGESTION LIKE THAT, FUCKING NEW PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE WENT THROUGH ON THIS SITE WHEN THERE WAS A SPAM FILTER.
Cruzg10
September 06, 2010 at 7:29pm
I remember the dark days of the filter that shall not be named. I wish to not go back to that. slap the guy that suggested maxpc get a filter that shall not be named, again
p309
September 04, 2010 at 7:18am
I'm in my 50s now- I was a young man when I first played Duke Nukem lol
