We’re incredibly sorry about that headline. But here, let us make it up to you! Today, we’ve got two excellent deals that’ll have your piggy bank looking slim and trim, but also somehow fat and happy. Or something. 

First up, The Witcher, CD Projekt’s dark fantasy epic, is going for $20 on both Steam and Impulse. It’s surprisingly short on actual “bubble, bubble, toil and trouble” witches, but other than that, it’s pretty great, we think.

STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl, meanwhile, is at the “why the hell not?” price of $5. The game’s an open-world shooter set in the irradiated ruins of a re-nuked Chernobyl. And you can own it for less than the price of a subscription to Maximum PC magazine. We didn’t even know numbers went that low!

So ready your wallets and pounce on these prices before time’s up. Go!