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10 Lies I Told Passersby While Waiting in Line For the iPhone 3G

Posted 07/13/08 at 01:54:13 AM | by Norman Chan

Let's get the obvious out the way: yes, I bought the new iPhone 3G. Max PC's ex-podcast producer Jeremy Williams and I waited outside the Stonestown Galleria mall in San Francisco for three hours this afternoon to get ahold of Steve Job's latest shiny gadget. Both of us were existing iPhone owners and have no shame about it.

The wait was about three hours long, and we had to do most of the waiting outside the mall to prevent clogging up foot traffic in front of the Apple store. Every half an hour, 10 to 15 people would be led inside to stand in another line before finally making it inside the store to make their purchase. Maybe it was because I was wearing an ironed buttoned-down shirt and carrying a laptop, but many people passing by stopped to ask me what the line was for. More than a few of them had no idea that a new iPhone had been released when I told them, which was pretty shocking for me to hear. Even my tech-phobic parents who couldn't send email if their lives depended on it knew about the iPhone; I genuinely could not imagine being so out of the tech-news loop. Then I decided to just start lying. Here's what I told the next ten people who asked what we were standing in line for:

10. Free back massages

9. Weezer Concert Tickets

8. Vasectomies

7. Geforce GTX 280 cards

6. Jamie Lynn Spears book signing

5.Two-for-one special at The Gap

4. Auditions for Beauty and the Geek

3. Sneak screening of The Dark Knight

2. The new Microsoft Zune

1. Will Smith is signing autographs

COMMENTS:: 20
TAGS:: apple, blog, cell phone, iphone, consumer electronics, prank, feature, line waiting

Comments

COMMENTS

I'm using a wonderful iphone
Submitted by kumaran on Mon, 2008-09-01 05:04

I'm using a wonderful iphone theme in my Pocket PC, you can also get this one at http://www.iphonethemeforpocketpc.com/.

Feels like now i'm having a new iphone

Itz really amazing....

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GTX 280
Submitted by eric_c11 on Thu, 2008-07-17 07:17

If they haven't heard of the new iPhone how would they know anything about a video card? or even a Zune?

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Vasectomy
Submitted by fake gordon mah ung on Mon, 2008-07-14 10:12

If everyone waiting in line for the iPhone received a complimentary vasectomy, we could wipe out this fanboy problem in a couple of generations.

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ORLY
Submitted by nedwards on Wed, 2008-07-16 17:14

I'm not convinced fake gordon mah ung isn't the real Gordon Mah Ung.

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Waiting in line for a
Submitted by N25PHILLY on Mon, 2008-07-14 09:43

Waiting in line for a phone? How sad...

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Whoah, we almost crossed paths...
Submitted by JonPhillips on Sun, 2008-07-13 21:27

Jon Phillips, editorial director, Maximum PC

I was there as well, (gulp) returning a bday present from Williams-Sonoma... couldn't believe it was two days later, and the store was still queing up lines.... waiting patiently until IT gives me my phone....

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caveat
Submitted by nedwards on Sun, 2008-07-13 20:01

What Norm isn't telling you is that these are all things he has or would actually stand in line for.

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correct for 5/10 -- Norm
Submitted by norman on Sun, 2008-07-13 22:09

correct for 5/10

-- Norm

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Which 5? 10. Free back
Submitted by willsmith on Mon, 2008-07-14 03:21

Which 5?

10. Free back massages
6. Jamie Lynn Spears book signing
5. Two-for-one special at The Gap
3. Sneak screening of The Dark Knight
1. Will Smith is signing autographs

Did I get it right?

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incorrect -- Norm
Submitted by norman on Mon, 2008-07-14 07:45

incorrect

-- Norm

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Sorry, but no one standing
Submitted by horzo on Sun, 2008-07-13 18:30

Sorry, but no one standing in line to buy his SECOND iPhone has the right to get all smart-assy. :)

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Technology
Submitted by Mathewpb on Sun, 2008-07-13 18:07

Modern Society is making leaps and bounds further into the exciting tehnological breaktroughs being made in the electronics world. Already in high schools teachers assume students have computers to do assignments on. Already our lifestyles are intertwined with computers and cellphones(blackberries and (iphone, hehe) ) that I cant wait to see what the world will be like 20 years from now. So for those people that dont even know that the Iphone is coming out is unbelievable. Think of this all you cavemen, in the future not having a cellphone will be akin to be not having a car.

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They fell for it?
Submitted by TheDuck on Sun, 2008-07-13 15:48

Those lies were the craziest I have ever heard of! I'm not sure who hasn't ever heard that the iPhone 3G wasn't going to be released that day... those tech outsiders should be put in a computer 'boot' camp and be forced to learn about computers 24/7. Plus...it was on the news! How could anyone not get info on it?

Great lies Norman... Great Lies!

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What possible reason could
Submitted by Wildebeast on Sun, 2008-07-13 12:24

What possible reason could people have, to think of Apple Store shoppers (and/or people whose lives revolve around their phone) are jerks??????

People probably asked the guy in line who looked least like an ass --I guess this proves why they would do that. Sure proved those "judge a book by its cover" people wrong.

Here I'd thought that my nephews' standing hours in line for a Wii was an adventure in stupity and wasting time. I guess Apple decided to improve on that model.

Oh, and I could not possibly care less about the release dates of the next 50 Apple products, or countless countless new phones. Are they really anything but the newest, pricy flavor-of-the-month gimic?

A phone w/service plan that works anywhere there's any [non-emergency] cellular service --that might be something to wait in line for...

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that's fun to do in long lines...
Submitted by borisdblade on Sun, 2008-07-13 05:23

Great idea with the lies in line. Long lines with a friend waiting with you can be fun. I've made up some really strange comments in line that makes people turn around and give a look like "what are you talking about?" or "Could that be really true?"

Personal faves (anyone can have these):

So the cat was hanging from the ceiling fan for how long?

There I was in the middle of New York City facing an escaped Saber Tooth cat and I was fresh out of dental floss.

Now how does a badger actually eat a dog?

Heard about the health code violation at *name a famous resturant*?

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Tell ya what Will, sign the
Submitted by Dostovel on Sun, 2008-07-13 03:34

Tell ya what Will, sign the cover of a MPC mag every month and throw the bitch up on eBay and I gurantee you, you would be able to either finance a 2008 Corvette Z06 or give a generous amout of worldy currency away to a charrity to warrant a ticket into Heaven. In fact I am so sure my ideas are so 1337 that you should bring me on as a consultant.

Next up, Gordon signings with free CHICKEN Caesar Salads.

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That is awesome!!! I would
Submitted by vistageek on Sun, 2008-07-13 01:51

That is awesome!!! I would totally love to meet you guys someday. That would be SO cool.

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totally not all it's
Submitted by Magaliiiii on Thu, 2008-07-17 18:09

totally not all it's cracked up to be. trust me.

well, except butters. he's dreamy!

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Will Smith
Submitted by Caboose on Sun, 2008-07-13 01:48

Editor in Chief Will Smith signing autographs?I'd love to get one!

Where can I get my grubby fingers on one?

-= I don't want to be dead, I want to be alive! Or... a cowboy! =-

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Haha...Norm you are
Submitted by blackzarg on Sun, 2008-07-13 01:47

Haha...Norm you are hilarious. What was the audience reaction? You didn't tell us about that!

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