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Net alcohol consumption: 6 ounces
Other encumbrances: Nil
BAC: 0.10 percent
Average lap time: 1:06
General observations: Subject is now legally drunk in California and is slowing slightly. Seems unsure on straightaways and hits his first cone. Car is fishtailing wildly. Subject’s time is beaten by the girl who follows him. This generates severe anger in the subject, which is manifest by an argument with a snack machine.
Net alcohol consumption: 8 ounces
Other encumbrances: Nil
BAC: 0.12 percent
Average lap time: 0:59
General observations: In an effort to best the times of the girl (see trial 5), subject has thrown caution to the wind. Subject is now running over cones — before he even leaves the pit area. Car jerks wildly over the course, but subject is achieving record times.
Net alcohol consumption: 10 ounces
Other encumbrances: Nil
BAC: above 0.12 percent
Average lap time: 1:05
General observations: Subject has drunk enough vodka to kill Rasputin. Subject has now left the car and is chatting with the girl from trial 5 about our secret experiment that he’s not supposed to be talking about. Girl’s boyfriend appears unamused. Very surly subject is finally wrestled back into a car, but sits at the starting gate for nearly five seconds after green light is given. Still makes good time, considering reactions are now pathetically slow. Vaguely drooling, subject now appears to be running down cones on purpose and with a perverse glee.
Net alcohol consumption: 12 ounces
Other encumbrances: Cell phone headset
BAC: above 0.12 percent
Average lap time: 1:05
General observations: Out of curiosity, severely drunken subject is outfitted with a hands-free headset. Subject continues to skid and hit cones, but not as many as in previous trials. Subject reports that talking on phone helps him concentrate, considering the severity of his condition. After final lap, subject verbally threatens team after vodka runs out and demands to be “taken immediately to an IHOP,” ending the experiment.
While we analyze the data thoroughly, some lessons and observations are obviously clear:
• Talking on a cell phone doesn’t just make you a bad driver, it makes you slow, too. If you just shut up and drive, you’ll have more time to call when you get to the office.
• Your $20 all-you-can-race fee includes unlimited bumper boats.
• Driving go-carts uses muscles you didn’t know you had.
• Cheap two-stroke fuel will mask the smell of alcohol completely.
• A 6-foot-4 editor in chief is simply not built for these stupid little cars.
• Final words from the subject: “Talking on the phone sucks. Driving drunk on a closed course is totally fun!”
Comments are closed on this article
EdnaM
July 25, 2011 at 12:34pm
I think is better not to drink and not to talk on the phone while driving.This shouldn't be an option.Working as a volunteer for a Florida holistic drug rehab center I see every day people consumed by guilt.Imagine living a whole life consumed by the guilt of killing someone because you were drunk or talking on the phone while driving.I respect them for seeking help for their alcohol addiction,but I wish everyone would be more serious when it comes to consequences of driving under influence.
Scott88
January 26, 2011 at 11:36am
Texting and driving is super dangerous, but driving drunk claims more lives so that's your answer. If you have a problem driving drunk then you have a problem with alcohol. You should look into an alcohol and drug rehab and change your life so you don't hurt yourself or somebody else.
xmannd
January 14, 2011 at 3:22pm
If you have one of these problems with drugs or alcohol ..in my opinion you must go at Vista bay rehab they will know how to rehabilitate you very fast and with no stress
inout
January 06, 2011 at 3:29pm
i think that this action depens on the man. i know people that drived drunk or smoked or talking to the phone and they hadn't no problem. even two of them told me that they drive better drunk. but not all are cut to do this kind of stunts. so my adivce is to drive safe and sobber. for more studies you can find out from <a rel="follow" href="http://www.drug-rehab.org/Arizona.html">www.drug-rehab.org</a>
dinny
November 09, 2010 at 8:16am
That's an interesting study and I strongly believe it should be done on a scientifically level and taken more seriously, the official results of this study may have an influence on our auto insurance quotes.
daniel.hkcs
August 04, 2010 at 12:29am
How does alcohol affect someone who has been diagnosed with aortic valve stenosis?
Paul - ultrasound sydney
The Relic
July 22, 2009 at 10:59am
Can't tell you how many times I've almost been ran over by morons who are too busy chatting on their cell phones to either use their turn signals, slow down for the light or notice me in the crosswalk...and seeing as how I lost my father to a drunken bastard, they could shoot them for all I care.
nekollx
July 22, 2009 at 11:05am
just this morning a bluetooth wearing bi*** tried to cut of the BUS i was riding on...
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Coming soon to Lulu.com --Tokusatsu Heroes--
Five teenagers, one alien ghost, a robot, and the fate of the world.
mesiah
July 22, 2009 at 9:39pm
There is a hidden moral to this story. If you need to get somewhere faster (and don't mind running over a few cones,) get drunk first. But if you over do it, call a friend on the way to keep yourself focused.
arch-chancellor
July 21, 2009 at 5:37pm
They did this exact experiment with a real car and state police and found that talking on the phone was just as bad or worse than being drunk. I can't remember when this episode first aired, but I think it was after this article was originally posted.
willsmith
July 21, 2009 at 7:18pm
I'm reasonably certain that Mobile had gone away by the time Mythbusters was on the air. It was a funny episode though!
bingojubes
July 21, 2009 at 4:42pm
as unscientific as it was, it seemed like a good test that could be used as a stepping stone for researchers. more of these articles, please! i liked this one alot. will we be eventually seeing what the study finds if doing the bumper boats with same criteria?
AntiHero
July 21, 2009 at 3:59pm
That was awesome. I wish there were videos.
I don't like Microsoft, I associate with it.
nekollx
July 21, 2009 at 3:55pm
pure win
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Coming soon to Lulu.com --Tokusatsu Heroes--
Five teenagers, one alien ghost, a robot, and the fate of the world.
