50 Worst Gadgets You Can Buy in SkyMall: The Anti-Gift Guide
Temple and Eye Massager

You must have a lot of faith in technology to let a machine rub your eyes for you.
Quad-Head Electric Toothbrush

Massively parallel brushing power!
ShirtPocket Underwater Camcorder

Finally an underwater camera that fits in the pocket of my swimming shirt.
Underwater Cellular Phone System

Almost $2000, and the cell phone is actually not included!
Indoor Barking Dog Deterrent

Can't afford the dog whisperer? Just torture your dog into submission.
Portable Neck Traction

We wouldn't trust something that wraps around our necks...and then gets bigger.