50 Skills Every Real Geek Should Have
Posted 12/08/08 at 12:00:00 PM by The Maximum PC Staff
Comments
Print
Email
Pick a Lock
Picking locks in video games has always been pretty easy; you make a skill check, break a pick or two, maybe even play a little mini-game, and the door swings right open. In the real world picking a lock is a lot tougher, but it’s still something you can learn to do with a little practice. You can find a great article about how to pick a lock at wikihow, complete with video, diagrams, and information on how to make your own picks.
Once you’ve mastered the basic pick-and-tension-wrench method, check out the article on bumping a lock. This is an even more sophisticated and efficient method for picking a lock, and is sure to impress your friends.
Differentiate Between Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb
Ah, the immortal question: Which reigns supreme, Dr Pepper or Mr PiBB? Well, actually it’s not much of a contest. After all, there’s a reason that Pepper got his PhD and PiBB is still stuck slaving away in the world of blue-collar sodas. Hell, the kids these days don’t even call Mr. PiBB “Mr.” anymore; he’s just “PiBB” now. It’s shameful, really.
But just knowing which is superior isn’t enough. A true nerd can distinguish between the two in a double-blind taste test and can reverse-engineer each into its secret ingredients. There’s a long standing rumor that Dr. Pepper is made with prune juice, but it turns out that this is false. Us? Of course we could tell you what the secret is, but we’ll let you figure it out for yourself.
Avoid DRM on everything
DRM is certainly a hot button issue these days, and there’s no better way to register your opinions than with your pocketbook. It would be nearly impossible to avoid DRM completely without resorting to piracy or giving up on a lot of fun things, but there are steps you can take to companies who release their IP without DRM. For instance, you can try awesome, DRM-free games such as Sins of a Solar Empire and World of Goo.
Most digital music stores these days are DRM free, including Amazon and Walmart’s stores, so you’re pretty much in the clear there, although most of iTunes is still off limits. Unfortunately, if you want DRM free video, Bittorrent is still pretty much your only option.
Download Flash Video and Bend it to Your Will
Any old schmuck can watch streaming video on sites like YouTube, but a real nerd’s nerd can save the video to disk, convert it to run on his PSP and his modded DS, and save it to DVD, all before you can say “copyright infringement.” If you can’t do all that, educate yourself.
Get Around In DOS
With every passing year, the percentage of nerds who grew up in a time after DOS gets larger. So listen up, young’ns, because even if it’s not something you have to use very much anymore, if you don’t know how to at least get around in DOS you’re going to look like a real PC lightweight.
Commit these seven commands to heart, and you’ll never find yourself stranded in DOS:
CD: Change directory; essential for getting around
DIR: List the contents of the current directory.
COPY: Copy a file, obviously. The syntax is “copy [filename] [destination filepath and filename]”
MKDIR: Create a directory. The syntax is “mkdir [directory name]”
MOVE: Move a file. Used with the same syntax as COPY
DEL: Delete a specified file.
RD: Delete a specified empty directory. If you want to delete a directory with contents, use RD /S /Q which will delete the entire directory tree
Haha! Its official I am a
Submitted by sandra34 on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 3:18am
Haha! Its official I am a real geek cos I have done all of those! :)
Hoodia weight loss | Cash For Property | Proactol voucher codes
Submitted by punksnot19 on Sat, 12/20/2008 - 12:58pm
What about nunchuck skills? Chicks like guys with nunchuck skills...
Submitted by adeletwo6789 on Tue, 09/29/2009 - 11:20am
wow…nice dress up! Well I can only
identify the superman, batman, and the Spiderman… may be my 6 yearsassignment | assignment
help | assignment
writingold nephew will able to identify all of the characters. He is always.
Submitted by martin0641 on Tue, 02/24/2009 - 6:53pm
Not only were the 'Chux ignored, but all 50 of your "skillz" were childsplay for me. Please hire some real editors who do more than spit out dribble for script kiddies that wanna think their 1337.
Real IT is hard, avoiding outages, perfecting performance, operating at the Enterprise level, satisfying customers who don't care what kind of array your using.
I don't expect much since your money comes from load-spewing teenagers, but the occassional recognition of the people who actually know what their doing would be nice.
Also, this is 2009, everyone can read leetspeak. It's not cool anymore, get over it.
Try and offer a real how-to every once and awhile as well. People know how to o/c videocards, see if they can perfect failover on 50 servers 100 miles apart.
Submitted by Antoros on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 10:50pm
You are skilled at IT work and yet you consistently make two of the most basic mistakes in written English. Please proofread before you post arrogant messages.
Ya i agrree with you dew is
Submitted by TheKhaos24 on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 7:33pm
Ya i agrree with you dew is the best. I just wanted to let you know you can hide your files quite easily for free all you have to do is open up system tools and alt code everything that is what i do
Submitted by EyesSewnShut on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 3:27am
Both Señior Pibb and Dr. Pepper suck. Real nerds and geeks alike drink the DEW!
Do the DEW
Submitted by Glycerin on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 5:21pm
Thank you at least someone agrees with me!
Seriously, who still uses IE?
Submitted by AndyYankee17 on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 5:24pm
yeah because nerds and geeks don't need the sperm count anyways
I count this as a waste of space.....
Submitted by ghot on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 2:18am
You publish a magazine that is supposed to report on computer hardware and software and do it fairly and reliably.....quit wasting space with this cr*p. Oh yeah, add to that the wonderfully enlightening screwdriver article....like anyone can't buy a screwdriver without direction.
Submitted by gordonjc on Mon, 12/15/2008 - 2:57pm
i only count 46, not 50
Submitted by Silentblaze513 on Mon, 12/15/2008 - 4:17am
There's about 80% more yet to be said in this article
Submitted by sixbit on Wed, 12/10/2008 - 7:43am
lame article....
Submitted by sixbit on Wed, 12/10/2008 - 7:42am
lame article....
The hyperlink for Portable
Submitted by yugiah on Wed, 12/10/2008 - 6:51am
The hyperlink for Portable apps aint there :P Fix pl0x?
Submitted by okoureia on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 10:43am
I can't wait to get off of work so I can try tinkering around with that virtual machine.
Submitted by AndyYankee17 on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 12:41pm
I don't know which one they mention in the article but my favorite is Sun's Virtual box
Submitted by that Linux guy on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 8:13am
Best... Article... Ever.
Submitted by Sharkky9 on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 3:23am
I would like to point out that this article misuses the phrase "liberal arts." Liberal Arts are those pursuits which are not applied. For example, Physics, English, and Mathematics are all liberal arts. What this article is trying to say, is that any good geek should be able to explain relativity to, for example, a humanities major. Subjects in the humanities include english, philosophy, religion, and history.
As a liberal arts major(mathematics) i am proud to note that understanding of general and special relativity is an important part of my curriculum.
Sincerely,
A Pretentious SOB
Submitted by anonuser on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 6:35am
Gadzooks, you're right. I never knew, theoretical physics IS a liberal art. Also, you didn't make any spelling mistakes in your post, AND you were the first commenter. Nice job, fellow geek!
Submitted by steventhebrave on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 2:39am
NT Pass Reset is a bootable CD for resetting windows passwords. You should give that a go before trying a crack CD.
Submitted by MAJORzer0 on Wed, 12/17/2008 - 5:04am
You never realize how easy it really is to crack XP. We have a few different tools here at the office to force our ways on simple minded computers. A good (or bad depending on how you look at it) thing is that alot of old programs still work just as well on a fully updated XP. We don't have to deal with VISTA though so I don't know how well any of my tools will work. Alot of them are unix/linux based programs that simply open up and attach itself to your OS and let you change anything you want(even the registry and master boot record of your hard drives). It keeps the button mashers here from totally killing us on reloading the machines because they played with something they shouldn't have.
Submitted by Boogster on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 8:15pm
I only built one computer four years ago (this one). And even then I had to read up on it for six months beforehand. This shit fascinates me though. The little bit I've learned has helped me a great deal where I work as some of the CNC machinery I use has been retrofitted with PC Controls (replacing punched tape readers). It's pretty cool.
Submitted by Queenof1 on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 3:14pm
I'm pretty disappointed that MPC would mention mooching of neighbor's wifi. Whereas needing to crack a Windows password for YOUR system that you can no longer get into is valid, there is no reason to steal bandwidth from your neighbor, even if they aren't geek enough to secure their network.
Pitcher's ERA? Please...
Submitted by DelandSIV on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 12:26pm
I'll take your pitcher's earned run average, and raise you a quarterback's passer rating.
Submitted by AndyYankee17 on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 12:40pm
yeah that's what I was thinking, ERA's simple, real geeks can compute pass ratings to 4 significant digits.
mentally.
official
Submitted by GreenTurtle on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 12:14pm
It's official..... I am a geek.
Submitted by G33k on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 8:57am
Hey, i'm the real geek! i have A+, Net+ Linux+, and i'm doing ccna. I run 64-bit ubuntu on my laptop ( with 32-bit skype ).
GEEK FTW!
Submitted by killerxx7 on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 7:47am
This is def a geek list not that much maths involved lol
Submitted by lostcause64 on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 7:51am
The only difference between a Geek and a Nerd is that Geeks have at least occassional intimate contact with members of the opposite sex. Having done most of these things myself already, and being a grandfather of three, leaving this a Geek list is very important!!
John
Try to be smarter than the object you're working with! It will make things easier, and might just save your life...
Submitted by Digital-Storm on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 3:50am
Change the title from Real Geek to Uber Nerd. Please!
Exactly, I agree with you.
Submitted by maniacm0nk3y on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 7:09am
Exactly, I agree with you.
Submitted by scuzzo on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 12:43am
In order of the pictures is it
DDR Memory
Dual Channel RIMM
PCI Express Connector
Nicely done!
Submitted by willsmith on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 11:16am
Nicely done!
Nice article.
Submitted by dankers on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 12:31am
Nice article.
Submitted by yugiah on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 12:05am
Quite the list :o
Submitted by maniacm0nk3y on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 11:57pm
Half of these I have already did but most are useless to me.
I probably will get another moniter when I get a degree for web design. I will be building a linux media center, checked it on my laptop (and checking off a number here by having a dual boot) soon. Everything else is not for me.
Well done...
Submitted by horzo on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 12:42pm
Let me know when you find a Linux app that:
a) does transcoding
b) is DLNA compatible
c) is free
Submitted by pRtkL xLr8r on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 1:55pm
I have it running on Gentoo Linux and can now share my hi-def movies from my Linux box to my Xbox 360 and PS3...
Submitted by anonuser on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 10:36pm
Oh you mean like Fuppes?
http://fuppes.ulrich-voelkel.de/
Submitted by chat1der on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 6:07am
Submitted by maniacm0nk3y on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 7:08am
Why?
* Edit: Oh so I have a syntax error and maybe some grammatical errors as well. I wrote this at 2.am after finishing a program (final) that is for class the next day(which is today).
Even the stuff that is useless should be standard for any new techie. All of this should be standard, they should have included more "high profile" skills. When I hear about this over and over it seems that it should just be the norm.
Must Read Articles
Feature
Review
Feature
Feature
Feature
This Month's Issue
FEATURE How to Get FREE Programs, Services, Software & MoreFEATURE Digital Photo Printer RoundupHOW TOBuild a 3D CameraFEATUREDIY Arcade PCWHITE PAPERHow TRIM Works
Technology News
Computer Cooling Fans
Computer Cases
PC Game Controllers
PC Games
Computer Hardware
Headphones
MP3 Players
Stream Video
Computer Mouse
Monitors
Motherboards
NAS Storage
Networking
Laptop Computers
DVD Burner
Digital Cameras
Portable Storage
Computer Accessories
Smartphone
Antivirus Software
Sound Cards
Speakers
Computer Systems
Thumb Drives
Video Cameras
Video Card Reviews
Water Cooling
Gadgets
- Keyboards
© 2009 Future US, Inc. All Rights Reserved.